When I Need You Too
by dawneh
Summary: Sequel to When I Need You Most another call brings Craig home to Chester but this time it's John Paul who needs the support...
1. Chapter 1

The room was dark and still. Having spent most of his life in a household full of women John Paul had learned to appreciate silence, even crave it at times, and solitude had often been a long desired luxury.

Sat on his bed with his bare back against the wall and pyjama clad leg clutched to his chest John Paul found none of the much needed peace in the empty silent room. The arms wrapped around his legs were chilled with the cold of the dark early morning but John Paul made no effort to rectify the matter. He didn't search for a top or seek the warmth of the duvet beneath him. He simply sat and stared into the dark, watching the shadows rise and fall on his walls, as an occasional car would pass by in the street outside, briefly illuminating his room through the gap in the curtains before the blackness reclaimed it.

In the dark John Paul imagined he could see shapes swirling before him. Dark mysterious puzzles before his eyes that his brain could not solve. The oppression of the blackness was complete and John Paul felt overwhelmed by its emptiness, by the total lack of anything. But the emptiness wasn't just in the room; it wasn't just contained within the four bare walls that housed John Paul's belongings. The emptiness was inside John Paul; it ran through his veins and made the cold of the room seem unimportant.

He wasn't certain if he had slept at all, the gravely feel to his eyes and the pounding of his head suggested not, but if he had managed to find any escape in slumber at all it had been brief and soon interrupted. Sleep and rest had eluded him for days. Every time he closed his eyes he could see the faces and hear the voices, every time he dreamed we would wake up in a panic, dripping with sweat and trembling from the terrors that haunted him even inside his own mind.

As he watched the darkness swarm around him John Paul saw the first rays of the early morning light begin to scratch at the sky, tearing a path through the inky black and heralding the start of a new day.

John Paul closed his eyes in the vain hope that he could hold back the morning for a few more minutes. He tried desperately to cling on to the empty blackness for a while longer but when he opened his eyes again he could see the daylight was already growing brighter.

John Paul sighed in defeat, as he had every morning for the last week, and dragged himself from his bed to confront the waking nightmare of another day.

---

Craig yawned as he stretched out an arm to hit at his alarm clock, silencing the high-pitched noise that broke into his dreams. Once the quiet had returned to his room Craig rubbed at his sleepy eyes and allowed them to slowly focus on his surroundings.

Craig's bedroom in his Dublin flat was little altered from the day he first moved in. Back then he had hated the place. It had seemed small and cold and empty, devoid of life or any feelings of comfort. Although in truth the only thing it had really been missing was the presence of John Paul McQueen, if the blonde haired man had shared the flat with Craig it would have felt like a palace, it would have felt like a home.

The walls had been painted a neutral shade of magnolia before he arrived and Craig had felt no inclination to change it, he had not even gone as far as to put up any posters. Instead the walls had remained blank and empty, reflecting how he had felt for so long in this world he didn't understand.

There had been a more recent change to Craig's bedroom however. On the small rickety cupboard beside his bed stood two framed photographs showing the two people he loved most in the world.

Picking up one of the pictures Craig went through his daily ritual of saying good morning to his mother. It had been six months since her death and every day the loss of her had become more bearable. It wasn't that the grief had ever left him, he didn't think it ever would completely, but the pain of it became something he could live with and it no longer overwhelmed him when he realised that he would never see her again.

Scooping up the second picture Craig smiled at the happy faces of the two schoolboys immortalised on the glossy paper. The two best friends who had been through so much together and come through it stronger than either of them had known they could be. The two best friends who had fallen in love, lost each other and then been drawn back together when Craig had needed the comfort of his dearest friend the most.

Craig ran his thumb over John Paul's gentle smile and felt the ache of the miles between them. He had returned home to Chester as often as he could since his relationship with John Paul had been renewed six months earlier but each happy reunion was all too soon followed by a tearful parting and Craig could hardly wait for the day University ended and he could go back home for good.

Craig hadn't spoken to John Paul in over a week and, although he missed hearing the man's voice, Craig had no reason to be worried. The increased workload from their respective universities had given them both less and less time to themselves and they both knew that they would never be able to settle for a "quick chat". John Paul had sent a text explaining that he needed to concentrate on his studies and talking to Craig was a wonderful distraction he could ill afford. Craig had reluctantly seen the sense of John Paul's words and since then the men had kept in touch through daily texts and occasional emails. Sometimes the texts would contain little more than "I love you", or "I miss you", but sometimes that was all they needed or wanted to hear.

Replacing the photographs on the cupboard Craig decided he should really get a new picture taken with John Paul the next time he was in Chester. Having a photograph of a boy in a school uniform by his bed was starting to look a bit perverted. The only other picture he had of the two of them that he treasured was kept tucked inside his wallet. The two young men dressed in rented tuxedos that they had hired for a school dance. The photograph that had been inside Frankie Osbourne's purse until the day she died.

Craig stretched to his full height as he climbed from the warmth of his bed, rubbing his hands through his hair and over his face to chase away the remnants of sleep that were trying to cling to him.

A sudden noise in his room made Craig jump as he turned to see his mobile phone rattling its announcement of a call beside his two framed photographs.

Grabbing for the phone Craig smiled to himself, if seemed that someone couldn't keep to the deal after all.

"Morning sexy," Craig said as he answered the call.

"Oh…err… Craig… hi." The voice on the other end of the phone was definitely not that of John Paul McQueen.

"Linda? Is that you?"

"Yeah sorry, I've just nicked John Paul's phone while he's in the shower, I know he would never have given me the number." Linda's voice held none of the bubbly laughter that Craig usually associated with the young woman and he felt a wave of panic washing over him.

"What's wrong? What's happened?"

"Look Craig… it's not for me to tell you… but call John Paul yeah? Give it half an hour or so and then call him… please… he really needs you right now."

"Linda what is it? You've got to tell me…."

"I can't… shit he's out of the shower… I've gotta go… just call him…" Craig held the phone to his ear for some time listening to the silence of the disconnected call as the worry in him grew. Whatever had happened it was bad enough for Linda to call him and it was bad enough for John Paul not to have.

Craig watched his clock for twenty minutes after which he couldn't stand to wait another second and, with shaky hands he pressed the speed dial to connect him to John Paul.

The phone wrung a few times before it was answered.

"Craig, hi… I didn't expect to hear from you today," John Paul's voice was light and breezy as it always had been, but there was something else, a tone running underneath it that added to Craig's concerns.

"I was missing you," Craig said omitting the fact that Linda had prompted his call.

"I'm missing you too," John Paul replied as he sank back onto his bed. The sound of Craig's voice both comforted and devastated him. He wanted nothing more than to have Craig with him, to hold him and tell him everything was going to be OK. But Craig was in Ireland and for now that was where he belonged.

"So everything going all right?" Craig asked trying to sound casual.

"Oh you know," John Paul replied with a faked cheerfulness, "Study, work, same old, same old."

There was a pause and the two men listened to the sound of each other's breaths echoing down the telephone line.

"You sure?" Craig prompted.

"Course." John Paul had never been a good liar; it was one McQueen traits that seemed to have escaped him. And lying to people he loved was always hard for him. Lying to Craig was damn near impossible. In one word John Paul had implied that he was fine, but his voice had screamed that he wasn't and Craig could almost sense the tears that were falling down the young man's cheeks.

Craig sighed. Whatever was wrong John Paul wasn't going to volunteer the information freely so the only alternative was to confront him directly.

"Linda called me," Craig said slowly.

"What did she say?" The panic was evident in John Paul's voice and Craig longed to reach out and hold him.

"Not much… what's happened John Paul? I know something has… she wouldn't say what but…"

"Oh god Craig," John Paul's defences were broken under the weight of the concern in Craig's voice but as much as he wanted to share his burden with the man he loved he was also afraid to, afraid he would react the way most people had.

"Tell me John Paul… please… I can't stand knowing something's hurting you like this…"

John Paul roughly brushed the tears from his face and took a deep breath. He knew if the situation had been reversed he would have wanted to know, just like he knew he would have trusted Craig. John Paul hoped that Craig would trust him once he knew.

"The thing is Craig… I don't really know how to… I mean I don't even know why… but… shit I don't even know how to say it…"

"Just say it… what ever it is it can't be that bad."

"You might change your mind when you know…"

"So tell me…"

"I've been…" John Paul took a deep breath and closed his eyes, "I've been accused of rape."

The silence was palpable and Craig almost let his phone slip from his fingers in shock.

"I didn't do it," John Paul blurted out.

"God no… no I know that," Craig assured him. As soon as the word had been uttered Craig had known of John Paul's innocence. He didn't doubt the man for a second. "I'll be there as soon as I can."

"Craig no, you don't have to… your studies…"

"John Paul," Craig interrupted in a firm voice, "This isn't open for discussion. I'll be there as soon as I can get a flight. You're not going through this on your own."

"Thank you," John Paul's voice was as small and broken as he felt but knowing that Craig would soon be there gave him renewed hope.

"Oh and John Paul?"

"Yeah?"

"I love you."

The call ended before John Paul could reply but he answered anyway. "I love you too," he whispered into his empty room.

---

Craig's phone fell from his hands and clattered to the floor. He had to get online, find a flight, pack, so many things needed attending to but they all had to wait until the shaking stopped.

How could anyone accuse John Paul of something so terrible? How could anyone ever believe that the kind gentle man was capable of doing something like that?

Craig jumped to his feet and ran to the bathroom, reaching the toilet just in time as the bile rose to his mouth and he vomited violently into the bowl. Tears ran down his face as he retched until his stomach was empty and his throat burned. But far worse than that was the terrible ache in his chest, the ache of knowing that John Paul had been suffering this alone but he wouldn't be alone for much longer.

---

John Paul's eyes were still damp and his phone still in his hand as he walked into the kitchen.

"Tea?" Linda asked as he approached.

"Something you want to tell me?" John Paul asked holding up his phone.

"He needed to know John Paul," Linda said calmly, "You need him here… if it was the other way around…"

"Linda… next time you feel like interfering in my life," He pulled the pretty blonde into a hug, "Feel free… thank you."

Linda hugged her friend close and John Paul appreciated the contact. So many of his "friends" had suddenly stopped returning his calls and so many girls who had once paused to chat in the university corridors now turned and walked the other way when they saw him coming. In so many peoples eyes John Paul McQueen was already guilty. But like Craig, Linda knew her friend, and she knew that John Paul would never have been capable of the things he had been accused of and her faith had been one of the few things that prevented John Paul from falling apart completely.

"He's coming home then?" Linda asked as she turned to make the tea.

"Soon as he can get a flight." John Paul confirmed.

"Good… it'll help… it will be OK you know John Paul."

"Will it… I don't see how."

"Because you're innocent, the truth will come out and everyone will see what a liar she is."

"I hope so," John Paul whispered as he took the hot drink from his flat mate, "I really hope so."

---

Craig hadn't noticed the rain start but as he sat on the taxi's back seat with his hastily packed overnight bag clutched tightly against his lap he saw the heavy drops splattering against the cars windshield before being swept swiftly away.

It had been over 24 hours since the telephone call that had brought him racing back to Chester and in those hours Craig hadn't slept or eaten or done anything but worry about John Paul. His mind was filled with questions, the biggest one being why? Why would anyone accuse John Paul of such a terrible crime? Why would anyone want to hurt that gentle soul so much? Why John Paul? Why?

The nausea that had assaulted Craig the day before still lingered in his stomach and the constant motion of the taxi made him feel even queasier. It was a relief when the car pulled to a stop outside John Paul's flat. Fumbling in his wallet for the English money he kept with him for his constant trips back home Craig's gaze brushed over his cherished photograph. John Paul's eyes had sparkled brightly that day but Craig had a terrible feeling that that sparkle had recently been extinguished.

Pulling himself from the back of the car Craig hunched his shoulders in a vain attempt to avoid the heavy downpour but his efforts did little to prevent the rain soaking him through and within seconds his hair was dripping into his eyes as the raindrops pasted it to his forehead.

Shivering, and not just from the cold, Craig raised his hand to the doorbell and hesitated. He suddenly felt very afraid. Afraid of what he would find inside the flat, of what he would hear and afraid that he wouldn't be able to help. Craig's fingers twitched as they came into contact with the small white plastic disc that would announce his presence to the residents of that flat. He was afraid of seeing John Paul broken by the vicious lies that had been told about him, but he was even more afraid of John Paul having to face it alone.

John Paul had been watching the film for over half an hour but if anyone had asked him what it was about or who the stars were he wouldn't have been able to answer. The flickering images on the screen were nothing more than a dancing light show of sound and noise that tumbled through his exhausted brain without leaving any lasting impression.

Every so often his eyes would dance over to the old wooden clock that hung slightly crookedly in the centre of one wall. He would quickly calculate how long it had been since he had spoken to Craig. It had been the early morning of the previous day when Craig had called him, it was now approaching seven in the evening and with each passing hour John Paul feared that Craig wasn't coming. His growing paranoia whispered to him that Craig hadn't believed him. Craig thought he was guilty. Craig didn't love him any more. Yet another part of him battled these doubts. Craig would be here soon he repeated to himself over and over again. Craig would be here and everything would be OK, somehow everything would be OK.

Linda had joined John Paul on the sofa a couple of hours earlier and, apart from the occasional comment about the film neither of them were watching, the friends sat in silence. Linda had long since run out of words of comfort for the man beside her. There were only so many times she could tell him she believed in him, only so many times she could reassure him that the truth would come out in the end and only so many times she could look into the grief in his eyes and hold back the need to cry.

John Paul flinched with fear at the sound of the doorbell. Over the last few days its noise had signalled many things and none of them good. They had dealt with letters of accusation and threats of violence being dropped onto the mat at all hours of the day and night and John Paul had even answered the door to find the word "rapist" scrawled across the paintwork in thick black marker.

Seeing the word so stark and accusing against the white gloss of the paintwork had felled John Paul to his knees where Linda had found him minutes later when she came to investigate his disappearance. Together the friends had scrubbed at the door until the word was all but faded from sight but even if they had repainted the door John Paul would still have been able to see it. He would always be able to see it and feel the sting of it in his chest.

"I'll get it," Linda said with a reassuring squeeze to John Paul's shoulder as she moved to answer the ringing bell.

"Thank you," John Paul replied in a soft voice. A part of him felt ashamed. He should have been strong enough to answer the door of his own flat but he couldn't. Just like he couldn't walk down the street with his head held high. John Paul knew that he had nothing to be ashamed of but the looks on the faces of the people he passed by so often told a different story.

"Linda! Looking gorgeous as always," Craig quipped as the door opened. The blonde girl smiled at his words, especially as she knew they were far from true, her hair was in a desperate need of washing and her face was pale and makeup-less, but being around for John Paul had been more important than a few cosmetic concerns over the past week.

"And you look… well actually you look like shit!" Linda replied as she took in the sight of the dark haired man dripping on the doorstep. His hair was sodden and totally plastered to his head, streams of rainwater running in rivers over his face and his eyes were darkly circled through the absence of a nights sleep.

"How is he?" Craig asked as he stepped into the hallway, shaking his head like a dog and spraying water droplets everywhere.

"Not good," Linda said with a pained sigh, "It'll help that you're here."

"How the hell did this happen Lin? Why would anyone…. Why him?"

"I really don't know Craig, I wish I did… it just doesn't make any sense…"

John Paul turned his head at the sound of approaching footsteps, getting slowly to his feet as Craig appeared in the doorway.

The two men stood motionless, staring at each other in a moment of frozen time. They both looked a mess, faces tired and haggard through worry and lack of sleep. They both looked beautiful, faces of angels that glowed with the promises of unconditional love.

"Craig," John Paul's voice croaked as he said the name.

"John Paul." The sound of his name said so gently in Craig's soft voice caused John Paul to break. The tears that he had managed to hold back for most of the day tumbled freely over his face as his shoulders shook with heavy sobs.

Craig's arms were strong and protective as they wrapped around John Paul, holding him tightly as the two men sank down onto the sofa. Craig's clothing was wet from the heavy rain and it quickly soaked through John Paul's shirt. The rivulets of rainwater trickled from Craig's hair and ran cold damp paths over John Paul's back. Despite the cold of Craig's embrace and the chilling water that was being absorbed by his clothing John Paul had no desire to be released from the hold. Being in Craig's arms finally made John Paul feel safe and he never wanted to leave them.

Craig held his breath as the younger man wept heavily into his chest. His own need to cry was overwhelming. He had known that John Paul was hurting; he had been able to tell that much from the phone call, but seeing him was so much worse. The soft blue eyes that had always been so full of life and love were dulled and grey. Hidden behind deep dark circles and masked beneath the anguish of the past week. It would have been so easy for Craig to break down and join his own tears to John Paul but he didn't. Craig knew there would be plenty of time for him to cry when he was alone. For now John Paul needed him strong, he needed Craig's confidence and certainty. He needed Craig and Craig wasn't about to let him down.

---

John Paul clung to the warmth and security of Craig's embrace as the tears of anger, confusion and hurt poured from him. He fought back the feeling of guilt as he remembered wondering if Craig was even going to turn up and instead chose to cling to the appreciation that the man was there.

Craig held on to the man shaking in his arms, rubbing his back and kissing the top of his head gently. He had never seen John Paul so distraught and the sight tore at his heart.

Eventually the flow of John Paul's tears began to dry up and he pulled back from Craig to look into the deep dark eyes that he adored so much. Craig forced a smile to his face as he wiped the tears from John Paul's cheeks.

As if on cue Linda walked into the room and placed two mugs of hot tea on the table before them and draped a soft white towel over the arm of the sofa. Craig threw her a look of gratitude as John Paul cradled one of the hot mugs in his hands, breathing in the warming steam as he gazed into the dark liquid.

Craig rubbed the towel over his still dripping hair before taking up his own drink, the heat from the mug taking away the chill that had settled into his bones. Linda tiptoed out of the room quietly. It wasn't just out of consideration that she left the two men alone. For the last week she had been there to support John Paul and it had taken its toll on her. Linda was grateful for the respite and time to be alone without having to worry if her friends was all right.

"I didn't do it," John Paul whispered into his drink, not managing to raise his eyes to Craig.

"I know that," Craig replied without hesitation. Above everything else Craig was as certain of John Paul's innocence as he was of his own. The second he had heard what John Paul had been accused of, the very moment the word rape had been uttered Craig's internal response had not been "did he do it" but rather "why would she say he did it". At no time did Craig ever need John Paul to protest his innocence because there was never any doubt of it.

"Do you?" The conviction in Craig's assurance had comforted John Paul, to many people who he had thought were friends had instantly doubted him, believing the worst of someone there were supposed to have known. If it hadn't been for Linda and his family John Paul didn't think he would have survived the past week.

"John Paul," Craig placed his drink back on the table and cupped the man's face with his warm hands, "Of course I know… I know you… you are the kindest, gentlest person I have ever known in my life and I know you wouldn't do anything so terrible… I know you couldn't…"

Craig's kiss was soft and compassionate, his lips pressing gently against John Paul's as his hands stroked the soft cheeks that had spent too long recently covered with tears.

"D'you want to tell me what happened?"

"Not really…"

"OK."

"That's it?" John Paul's brow furrowed in surprised confusion.

"How d'you mean?"

"I say I don't want to tell you what happened and you're fine with that?" John Paul was so used to people wanting to know every detail that lead to the accusation that having Craig willing to let the matter go was totally unexpected.

"I don't need to KNOW the details John Paul, I know you didn't do anything and that's enough for me… if and when you want to tell me more then I'll be here for you…"

"I'm so glad you're here," John Paul said as he put down his half drunk tea and snuggled back against the warmth of Craig's side. Craig's arm fell naturally around John Paul's shoulder and, despite the fact that his clothes were still damp with rain; they both felt the comfort of each other's presence.

"I'd thought she was a friend," John Paul said quietly and Craig didn't need to as who he was talking about. "Well maybe not a friend, but we had some classes together, you know? We always had a chat and a laugh; she seemed nice… we got on OK… I thought she… I don't know why…"

"It's all right," Craig soothed, stroking John Paul's hair, "You don't have to tell me."

"I do… I mean I want to… I think I need too…"

John Paul closed his eyes and rested his head against Craig's shoulder. His lovers strong support gave him the strength to revisit the night that had been the start of a cycle of events John Paul had no control over.

---

The SU Bar was crowded with students, as it was most Friday nights, the noise level was high with the combination of laughter and music and the alcohol flowed freely with the bar's latest promotion.

Linda had backed out of joining John Paul at the last minute when a call from a guy she fancied had proved to be a better offer. Her apologies had poured from her as she applied her makeup but John Paul had understood. He knew you had to take a chance when it came to love and not let any opportunity pass you by.

There had been plenty of John Paul's other HCC friends in the bar when he arrived and John Paul was soon embroiled in a pool match that was threatening to dissolve into chaos as most of the players were already too drunk to focus properly.

John Paul had smiled when he saw Natalie walking into the bar with two of her friends. There was no denying she was an attractive girl and in another world John Paul might have even fancied her. Her long dark hair glistened under the subdued bar lighting and her full red mouth curved upwards as she raised a hand in greeting to the cute blonde man she had shared classes with.

Once they had been served at the bar Natalie and her friends casually wandered over to the pool tables to watch the rapidly declining challenge that was all but over.

"John Paul," she said with a deep smile, her dark eyes shining at him as she raised her bottle.

"All right Nat?" John Paul replied, "How's it going?"

"Oh you know… not so bad."

Taking another step forwards Natalie stumbled, almost falling if John Paul hadn't caught her at the last moment. Their faces were inches apart as John Paul righted the girl and they were both laughing at her mishap.

The evening had flown by as the number of empty bottles soon stacked up on nearby tables and it didn't seem long before the bar lights were turned up and the customers were requested to quickly vacate the premises.

Looking around John Paul noticed that Natalie was now alone.

"Did your mates leave already?" He asked with concern.

"Yeah," Natalie confirmed, "They couldn't take the pace, light weights."

"How you getting home then?"

"It's a nice night, thought I'd walk…"

"On your own?"

"It's not far…"

John Paul shook his head. There was no way he would let a young woman walk home alone at that hour of the night. He would have never forgiven himself if anything happened. The irony of the situation wasn't lost on John Paul the next day.

"I'll walk you," John Paul offered with a kind smile.

"What a gentleman," Natalie laughed as John Paul held her jacket for her.

Natalie had been right, it was a pleasant night, despite the late hour the air was still warm and John Paul felt a gentle contentment as they walked. Their conversation was easy as they chatted about their studies and people they both knew, Natalie slipped her arm into John Paul's as they walked and to any passers by they would have looked like a gorgeous couple.

"Here we are," Natalie announced as they arrived at the building where she rented a room, "Thanks for seeing me home."

"You're welcome," John Paul replied taking a mock bow.

"No really, it was good of you." Natalie leant forward and pressed her mouth against John Paul's lips.

John Paul stepped back a little flustered by the unexpected kiss. "Err don't mention it," he stammered.

"I really like you John Paul," Natalie said, her dark eyes staring at him unblinking.

"I… err… I like you to…" John Paul replied.

"No… I mean I REALLY like you." Without warning Natalie had slipped her hand to the back of his neck, pulling his face towards her as he kissed him again. John Paul pulled back from the slickness of her glossy mouth, his face the picture of stunned amazement.

"Nat… don't…"

"Oh come on John Paul… we're both adults." With a few more steps Natalie managed to back John Paul against one side of the porch and her eyes glittered with a predatory spark.

"Natalie… I'm GAY," John Paul said firmly as he grabbed her wrists to hold her away.

"So I've heard," Natalie replied as she struggled in his grip, "But then I've also heard you used to have a girlfriend… so I guess you're not totally gay are you…"

"That was before," John Paul replied in frustration. He had been doing the right thing in seeing this girl home safely, how had things suddenly got so out of hand?

"What… before you were gay?"

"Before I was… before I was out… before I was certain…"

"Oh come on John Paul… you don't have to pretend with me… I'm sure we could have a bit of fun here… I've always fancied you…" Despite John Paul's firm grip Natalie still managed to force herself forward enough to smear another lipstick kiss across his mouth.

"Natalie stop it… Even if I wasn't gay… I'm in a relationship… and I don't cheat."

"I won't tell him if you don't…"

Natalie's chest pressed against John Paul's with the unusual and unwelcome sensation of her breasts pushing against him as her mouth once again landed hotly against John Paul's lips, her tongue desperately trying to force its way between.

Turning his face from her kiss John Paul shoved Natalie away from him.

"Just stop it," he shouted as Natalie's back slammed into the other side of the porch, the air rushing from her lungs as she collided with the hard wall.

"I'm sorry," John Paul said quietly as he turned away, wiping the lipstick from his face, "Really, I'm sorry."

"You will be," Natalie snarled after him.

John Paul hadn't been out of bed long the next morning when Linda went to answer the door. Her face was ashen when she returned to the living room, followed by two policemen.

John Paul felt a sickness roll in his stomach. Something terrible must have happened, to his family, or to Craig and he held his breath in preparation of bad news.

"John Paul McQueen?" The younger looking of the two men asked.

"Yeah…"

"Can you please come with us sir?"

"What is it? What's happened?"

"We just need to ask you a few questions… there's been an allegation."

"Allegation? About what…"

The policeman cast a glance at Linda.

"It's OK," John Paul said, whatever had happened he was bound to tell Linda about it anyway, "Just tell me."

"A young woman has named you as her attacker, she's claiming you raped her."

The rest of the day had tumbled through John Paul's brain as a series of images that made no sense. The interview room was cold and grey as John Paul repeated over and over again that he never touched her. The table had been covered with photographs of Natalie's bruised wrists and back and John Paul's explanations for them sounded weak, even to his own ears.

After several hours John Paul had been released without charge, although he was informed that the investigation was still ongoing and he shouldn't make any plans to leave town.

Linda had been waiting nervously for John Paul's return and the broken look of the man had shocked her to her very core. Through floods of tears John Paul tried to explain a situation he didn't understand as she held her friend.

"You should call Craig." 

"No, I don't want to worry him…"

"Your family then… please John Paul…"

John Paul had relented somewhat and within minutes Jacqui had been at the door threatening to beat up anyone who would accuse her younger brother of such a crime.

---

Craig couldn't help but smile as John Paul described Jacqui's righteous outrage. It was so like the woman he knew and it comforted Craig to know that John Paul had his families support at a time when he really needed them.

John Paul's eyes opened slowly to look at Craig, a moments fear passed through him that there would be any doubt in the deep dark eyes that looked back at him, but there wasn't, not even for a second.

"I don't know what to say," Craig breathed. What could he say that would make this situation any better?

"You don't have to say anything," John Paul replied, "Just hold me… that's all…"

"For as long as you need me to," Craig promised as he wrapped his arms tightly around the man he loved.

Craig rested his chin on top of John Paul's head as he rocked him slowly and reassuringly. Looking to the doorway he saw Linda watching them.

"Is he OK?" Linda mouthed silently.

Craig shook his head slightly; John Paul was far from OK.

"Are you OK," she mouthed again.

Craig closed his eyes and tightened his hold on John Paul. He would never be OK again, not until this nightmare was over, not until the truth was discovered and John Paul's name was cleared. Not until he saw John Paul smile again.


	2. Chapter 2

John Paul's chest rose and fell with his deep steady breaths. The sleep that had eluded him for days seemed to come easily again in the comfort of Craig's presence and Craig watched over the young man as he slept.

The dark rings beneath John Paul's eyes seemed lessened in the subdued light of the bedroom and his face, that had been tense with the week's worries, was relaxed in a peaceful slumber. Craig could see an echo of the man he loved lying beside him but even getting there had caused its own problems.

Exhaustion had clawed at both men and a mutual unspoken agreement had taken them to the bedroom. John Paul had stripped to his boxer shorts before hesitating. An unexpected discomfort washed over him and he couldn't go any further. He felt unable to let Craig see him naked, ashamed at the though of his own body being viewed by another person, even Craig. Craig's heart had broken at the uncertainty he saw in John Paul's eyes. They had always been so comfortable with each other, right from the start they had been able to revel in the beauty of each other's bodies and Craig hated that it was another part of John Paul that had been taken away.

Stripping down to his own boxers Craig smiled.

"It's OK," he said gently as he climbed into the bed with the cotton garment still in place, holding the edge of the duvet for John Paul to join him.

John Paul had smiled his gratitude at Craig's understanding and gladly slipped under the duvet and into the warmth and comfort of Craig's arms.

It hadn't taken long for the much-needed sleep to claim John Paul and Craig had felt relief in seeing the man find some peace at last.

Craig's own exhaustion tugged at his brain but his eyes refused to close and instead he lay quietly watching the man beside him, wondering what dreams might be running through his head.

After an hour Craig's inability to find rest frustrated him and he gently eased his arm away from John Paul. Carefully and quietly, so as not to disturb the younger man's slumber, Craig climbed from the bed and slipped a t-shirt on over his head before tiptoeing from the room.

"Can't sleep either?" Linda asked as Craig entered the kitchen. Craig felt suddenly aware of his bare legs and tugged at the edge of his t-shirt to pull it lower over his boxers. Linda seemed not to notice, or at least not to care, as she placed another mug beside the one she had filled and made a second cup of tea.

"How the hell's all this happened Lin?" Craig asked as Linda joined him, taking a seat at the small breakfast table and passing him his drink.

"I don't know Craig… I really don't…" Linda replied sadly as she sipped her hot beverage.

"Who is this Natalie… what's she got against John Paul?"

"I don't really know her… I mean I've seen her around… she looks like the sorta person who doesn't get turned down…"

"Not till John Paul…"

"Yeah… not till John Paul…"

"But still… that's a bit of an overreaction to rejection isn't it?" Craig struggled to find the logic in the woman's actions but there was no logic to be had. "Couldn't she have just… I dunno… gone around telling everyone he was a crap shag or something?"

Linda let out a soft laugh; it felt good to laugh again, even over something so simple.

"And what the hell are the police playing at? A few bruises… it's hardly evidence of rape is it?" Craig glared at his reflection on the surface of his tea as he spoke.

"It wasn't just bruises…"

"What?"

"Apparently there was evidence of… what was it they called it… recent sexual activity…"

"But that doesn't mean it was John Paul… doesn't mean she was forced…"

"Of course not… Hell she wasn't exactly the shy type if you know what I mean… she'd probably been with someone before she went to the SU Bar… or even after John Paul had left her… but it just makes it look bad… and there was his hair on her clothes…"

"I'm hardly surprised… she was all over him… damn!"

"We will get him through this won't we?" Linda asked with concern. She had been John Paul's strength for over a week and she desperately needed someone else to take the burden from her.

"We have to…" Craig replied, "I don't know how… but we have to."

There was a silence as the two insomniacs cradled their hot mugs and contemplated the fate of the man sleeping in another room.

"I tried it on with John Paul once you know," Linda said with a laugh before stopping and worrying she had revealed something she shouldn't.

"No way!" Craig replied, Linda was relieved to see he was also laughing, "What happened?"

"What d'you think… he turned me down!"

"Why did ya in the first place… didn't you know he was gay?"

"I didn't know all that much about him," Linda admitted, "I mean we'd been sharing for a couple of months but he never really opened up about himself… he'd never shown interest in any guys… or girls… I figured he was busy concentrating on his studies… didn't know about you back then… but he was so gorgeous… well you know that… and we'd been watching DVD's and drinking and…"

"And…" Craig encouraged. It felt good to be talking about something happier, remembering that John Paul's life hadn't always been in the shadow of a heinous accusation.

"And I kissed him!"

"What did he do?"

"He pushed me off… Oh he was really nice about it you know? Told me how he was flattered and everything… then he told me about you… ALL about you…"

"All?"

"I thought you were a bit of a shit to be honest Craig… the way you'd treated him at times…"

"I was… you're right…"

"And I thought you didn't love him…"

"I always loved him Lin… I just didn't always know how to…"

"I see that now… he's lucky to have you."

"I'm lucky to have him, I'm lucky he still wanted me after everything I put him through…"

Without warning the tears that Craig had held back in front of John Paul sprang from his eyes and he was powerless to stop them. Linda pulled the man against her as his chest heaved with heavy sobs. She understood how hard it could be staying strong for someone else and she was glad Craig was managing to let it out.

"I just wanna protect him, look after him," Craig gasped between sobs, "But I don't know what to do… I don't know how to help him this time…"

"Just be here for him Craig," Linda soothed, stroking the weeping man's hair, "It's all you can do… it's all he needs you to do…"

Craig lifted his face from Linda's shoulder as his tears slowly began to cease. He hadn't realised what a weight they had been as he had fought to hold them back and he smiled his gratitude to the young woman who was sharing his pain.

Craig wasn't sure what made him kiss her at that moment but it seemed the most natural thing in the world to do. Their lips met gently, pressing together as their arms held onto each other.

Their kiss was warm and comforting and, as they pulled apart, there was no need for shame or guilt. They both knew it hadn't been a kiss of desire or physical attraction, but a kiss of shared pain and understanding. A kiss between friends who knew that they had a long battle ahead of them to save the man they both loved.

John Paul was still sleeping soundly as Craig crept back into the bedroom. Dropping his t-shirt to the floor Craig slipped into the bed, smiling as John Paul instinctively found his way back into Craig's arms.

John Paul murmured in his sleep as Craig kissed his head softly.

"It's all gonna be OK," Craig promised in a light whisper, "I don't know how… but I'll make sure it's all right… I love you so much John Paul."

---

The early morning light was just starting to filter through the clouds, reclaiming its dominance of the sky from the blackness of the night as John Paul leant against his bedroom window. He could hear the softness of Craig's breathing behind him and every few minutes he would turn his head to smile at the form curled underneath his duvet.

For the last few days John Paul's life had felt as dark as any midnight sky but Craig's presence gave him hope that the sun would rise for him again soon and that he would be able to leave the shadows behind.

The window was cold as John Paul rested his head against it and the chill seemed to resonate throughout his body. He wrapped his arms around himself as he continued to watch the start of another new day. John Paul still felt the dread of the new morning but it wasn't as deep or as all consuming as it had been and he knew he would get through it.

It surprised John Paul how long he had slept and he was certain that it was more due to the comfort of Craig beside him than the real physical need for rest. He had woken at some point in the night, he wasn't certain exactly how long he had been sleeping for, to find the bed beside him empty. John Paul had lay silently in the oppressive darkness as a panic clawed at his chest. His first thought had been that Craig had gone, that he'd run from him as he slept unable to face the terrible crime that John Paul had been accused of. As his breathing got more and more ragged John Paul had heard voices. As he listened he could make out the soft gentle laugh of Linda and the deeper warmer tones of Craig's voice and instantly the panic was gone.

Although he couldn't quite make out the words of his friend and his lover the sound of them was soothing and, as John Paul listened to them, he felt himself being lulled back into a peaceful rest.

The next time John Paul awoke Craig's arms were tightly wrapped around him and he could just make out the features of the man's face in the few stray rays of light that snuck into the room.

John Paul had watched Craig sleep for some time, his eyes tracing the curves of the man's face, the softness of his lips and the long thick lashes that fanned out delicately over his cheeks. There were times when John Paul's love for that beautiful man took his breath away and, lying in the darkness, in Craig's strong arms was one of those moments.

"What time is it?" Craig's sleepy voice asked breaking into John Paul's thoughts.

"Still early… go back to sleep," John Paul replied in a hushed whisper.

"What's wrong?" Craig asked as he pulled himself into a sitting position.

"Nothing," John Paul assured him, well nothing new at least, "I just woke up, wanted to watch the new day…"

Craig joined John Paul at the window as the morning sky turned slowly pink.

"You're cold," he said as he wrapped his arms around John Paul's chest and rested his head on the man's shoulder.

"You're lovely and warm," John Paul replied as he leant back into Craig's arms.

The two men stood in a silent embrace as they watched the new day finally steal away the last remnants of the night and cast a warm glow over the outside world.

"Why don't you go back to bed," John Paul said as he took held onto Craig's arms, "It's still really early, you don't need to be up yet."

"Only if you come back with me."

John Paul turned to face Craig with an uncertainty dancing in his eyes. Just over a week ago if Craig Dean had suggested getting back into bed he would have leapt at the chance and his body would have been under the duvet before the words had left Craig's mouth. But what a difference a week could make. Now, as much as he still loved Craig, still desired him, John Paul's confidence in himself was gone and the thought of letting Craig see him that exposed, that vulnerable terrified him beyond reason.

"I don't know…" John Paul stammered, "I'm not sure that… I don't know if…"

"Shhh." Craig touched his lips to John Paul's mouth in the gentlest kiss the man had ever known. Holding his hands against John Paul's face Craig kissed him softly, a kiss of love and understanding and a kiss that didn't need to be any more than a kiss.

"Come back to bed," Craig said gently, "Get some more sleep while you can… the day will still be here in a few hours."

John Paul allowed Craig to lead him back to the bed. He hadn't realised exactly how cold he had become until the warmth of the duvet was pulled over him.

"Thank you," John Paul whispered as he reclaimed his place in Craig's arms. He wanted to be the man he used to be with Craig and he was sure he would be again, one day, but not today.

"You're welcome," Craig breathed into John Paul's hair as he tightened his hold. He wanted the John Paul back that he knew and Craig was prepared to do anything to find him again.

---

"I suppose I should go and see Jake and Steph," Craig said as he pushed his empty plate from him, "They'll only get narky if they hear I'm home and haven't been to see them."

When the two men had emerged from John Paul's bedroom after another few hours sleep Linda had been part way through cooking them all a large breakfast. She had smiled at the sight of her friend looking more rested than she had seen him in days and a knowing look passed between Linda and Craig as the men sat at the breakfast table. They were both there to help John Paul and whatever it took they would, whatever it took.

"D'you wanna come with me?" Craig asked as John Paul cleared his own plate with a satisfied sigh.

"To the Dog?"

"Well it IS where they live…"

"I don't think so…"

"John Paul you can't stay inside for the rest of your life…"

"I know… but not today eh? Besides mum and Jac said they'd probably call round this morning."

"You sure?" Craig brow furrowed in concern.

"Really… you go… say hi from me!"

"I could do with picking up some milk and stuff," Linda said as she cleared away the empty plates and deposited them in the sink, "Mind if I walk into the village with you?"

"Nah, course not."

John Paul tried not to let the panic show on his face. They were going to leave him alone in the flat. Alone to answer the door if anybody came… anybody. Alone to brood on what he had done, on what he hadn't done and what he was going to do now. Alone. On his own.

"You OK?" Craig's hand was warm as it rested on top of John Paul.

"Yeah, yeah fine…" John Paul lied, "You two get out of here… give me some peace… I might even do the washing up!"

"Quick let's leg it before he changes his mind," Linda said with a laugh as she went to get her coat.

---

"D'you think he'll be OK on his own," Craig asked as he followed Linda down the street and away from the flat.

"He's got to be hasn't he," she replied with a shrug. They had both seen how the idea of being left alone had scared John Paul and, just like John Paul had, they both pretended that the fear in his eyes hadn't been there.

Craig looked back with unease. He hated leaving John Paul like that, it felt like deserting him and as much as he knew they had to push the man to be stronger for himself every fibre of his being wanted to run back to the flat and hold him.

"I'll be quick at the shops," Linda promised, "And I'll go straight back… you go see your family… I'll take care of him, I will…"

"I know you will," Craig put his arm around Linda's shoulders and squeezed her tightly.

Linda tactfully steered the conversation away from John Paul in an effort to distract Craig from his worries, although she could still see concerns flit past his eyes every few minutes.

Linda's footsteps faltered as they approached the parade. "Shit!"

"What?" Craig looked around to find the cause of Linda's outburst and his eyes landed on three girls walking from Il Gnosh. Two of them were of no interest to him but the third, the one in the middle with the long dark hair seemed painfully familiar even though he had never seen her before in his life.

"That's her isn't it?" Craig asked with a low snarl. Natalie was laughing with her friends as they paused outside the restaurant to talk. She threw her head back as she laughed and the sight filled Craig with rage. How dare she be laughing when John Paul was suffering? She hardly looked like a woman who had recently experienced a vicious attack, but then maybe that was because she hadn't.

"Craig what are you gonna do?" Linda asked as she held tightly onto his arm. She could feel Craig's body trembling with frustration. "Don't make things worse will you…"

"I won't," Craig replied through gritted teeth, "Look you get your shopping… I'll go straight to the Dog."

"Promise?"

"Course."

Linda hesitated for another second before heading into Drive n Buy. Craig watched the three girls outside Il Gnosh will ill concealed outrage, he wanted nothing more than to walk up to her and shake the truth from her lying mouth but instead he balled his hands into fists and thrust them into his pockets.

"See you in a bit," Natalie called to her friends as they parted and she turned towards home. A strange dark haired man seemed to be watching her and Natalie smiled to herself, well he was cute!

Craig watched as Natalie turned into the alleyway and, despite his promise to Linda, Craig took a deep breath and followed her.

"Are you following me?" Natalie asked as she stopped and turned to face the dark haired man behind her. Craig hesitated as uncertainty crept into his mind and then he noticed what she was doing. He saw the way her eyes were flicking over him and the half-smile playing on her lips. Craig felt the nausea rise in his stomach as he realised she was starting to flirt with him.

"What if I am?" Craig asked back hoping that she couldn't see the look of disgust in his eyes.

Leaning back against one wall Natalie tilted her head to one side and began to slowly wrap a strand of hair around a finger.

"Do I know you?"

"No… I… I don't live around here… Just visiting a friend…"

"A girlfriend?" Natalie asked coyly as she batted her heavily mascaraed eyelashes at Craig.

"No," Craig replied with a smile that he hoped looked at least pleasant, "Not a girlfriend…"

Natalie ran a fingertip over her lips, the lips that had been pressed against John Paul and the lips that had then spewed lies about him.

"So why are you following me then?" Natalie asked with a soft giggle that made Craig's blood boil. Stepping forward Craig took a soft hold of Natalie's shoulders and held her lightly against the wall.

Craig had always believed that violence of any form against a woman, whatever the provocation, was unacceptable but at that moment it was taking every ounce of self control not to punch her lying mouth through to the other side of her face.

Craig looked her over slowly. If he'd seen her out in a club he would have thought she was exceptionally pretty. Despite the heavy make up he could still make out the bright sparkle of her eyes and the soft glow of her skin. If he hadn't known what she was capable of he would have though her quite attractive but as it was the ugliness of her actions, the ugliness inside her, seemed to radiate through and Craig found her very proximity to him repulsive.

"Maybe I just want to talk to you," Craig said tightening his hold slightly.

"Oh yeah? And what have we got to talk about?" Natalie asked in a deep flirty tone that once again made the bile rise in Craig's throat.

"Oh I don't know… how about why you would lie and say that an innocent man attacked you…"

Natalie pushed against Craig's hold but he didn't release her.

"Who the hell are you?"

"How about why you've let John Paul go through hell and yet you carry on like nothing has happened…"

"If you don't let go of me I'll scream…"

"What you gonna do Natalie?" Craig moved his face close to hers, his eyes dark and threatening, "You gonna cry rape again? There are only so many times people will believe that you know… so why don't you tell me eh? Come on… just between you and me… what did John Paul do that was so awful you had to ruin his life?"

Natalie slumped back against the wall as she gave up fighting Craig's hold.

"It's not that simple," She whispered softly.

"So tell me…"

"I didn't mean to say…."

"What? You accidentally said he raped you… yeah I can see how that could happen…" The sarcasm seemed to drip from Craig's words.

"I was upset OK… after he…"

"After he turned you down…"

"Yeah…"

"Cause he's gay…"

Natalie's head fell forward and for a moment Craig could have sworn he saw a hint of remorse.

"I was upset," Natalie continued with her gaze fixed on her feet, "When I got back into my flat I was upset and crying and my flatmate asked me what was wrong…"

"And you said John Paul attacked you?"

"NO!" Natalie lifted her gaze back to Craig's in defiance, "I never said that… I said he hurt me… and he did," Natalie raised her arms to Craig, "See… the bruises still haven't faded…"

"He was fighting you off for Christ's sake!"

"It all just got out of hand," Natalie's hands fell back limply to her sides, "Before I knew it the police were involved and I couldn't… I couldn't stop it…"

"You could have told the truth… from the start…"

"I couldn't… I was… ashamed," Natalie's gaze seemed to harden as she looked at Craig. "Besides," she said with a bitter sneer, "He'd humiliated me… I wanted to make him suffer…"

"You bitch." Craig's urge to punch someone had never been stronger.

"Now get your hands off me before I call the police and tell them that John Paul has got his friends to threaten me…"

Craig let his grip fall from Natalie's shoulders; he didn't doubt for a second that she would be willing to report his actions.

"Just tell the truth," Craig pleaded in a last ditch attempt to make her see sense, "Please… you don't know how much these lies are hurting him…"

"What? Get myself in trouble for his sake… you must be joking." With a laugh Natalie turned to walk away before hesitating and looking back.

"Oh my god… you're not just his friend are you? You're the boyfriend… how sweet!" The spite was rich in Natalie's voice as she laughed and lightly stepped out of the alleyway.

Craig leant back against the wall, kicking it violently and whispering "shit" under his voice.

For a second there he had thought he'd seen some genuine humanity in the girl, he had hoped to be able to appeal to her better nature and just as quickly he realised that she probably didn't have one.

Craig pressed his eyes tightly closed to fight back the tears of rage that threatened to spill from them.

"God please don't let me have made this worse," Craig repeated over and over again. His body was shaking as he prayed to whatever gods might be listening to save his beautiful boyfriend from that woman's cruel lies.

---

"Craig!" Steph's cry reverberated around the Dog as she bounced into her brother's stunned embrace. "I didn't know you were back…" Pausing to look into his eyes Steph's tone dropped, "You're here for John Paul aren't you?"

"Yeah I am," Craig looked closely at his sister, waiting for the accusations, waiting to leap to John Paul's defence at a milliseconds notice.

"How's he doing?" Steph's concern sounded genuine and Craig smiled in gratitude, "That cow's lucky one of the McQueen women hasn't punched her lights out already!"

"He's OK," Craig said and then shook his head sadly, "He's not OK Steph this is killing him and I… I don't know what to do about it…"

"Alright bruv?" Jake leant over the bar as he handed Craig a bottle of lager, "Thought you might be back in town soon…"

Craig held his breath. Steph believing John Paul's innocence was one thing but Jake was a whole different matter.

"He didn't do it," Craig blurted out, immediately on the defensive.

"I'm sure he didn't," Jake replied as he walked out from behind the bar and pulled up a bar stool, as Craig sat on another.

"Really?" Craig had a strange feeling that he had walked into a parallel universe where his family accepted he was gay and that his boyfriend was innocent.

"Look Craig," Jake continued as he rested a comforting hand on his little brother's shoulder, "I might not have always been John Paul's biggest fan… but I think I at least know him well enough to know he's not the sort of man who would do that…"

"Thanks," Craig blinked back the tears that were pricking against his eyes. If these people could see John Paul's innocence then why couldn't everyone else? "I spoke to her," Craig said quietly as he picked nervously at the label of his bottle.

"What did she have to say?" Steph asked leaning into her brother's until all three siblings were huddled close together.

"She admitted it wasn't true," Craig replied with a defeated shrug.

"So go to the police… tell them…"

"How can I? It's my word against hers… Who are they gonna believe eh? I mean what do I say… Hi I'm John Paul's boyfriend and the woman who accused him of rape told me he didn't do it so you can drop the charges… hardly gonna wash is it?"

"Suppose not," Steph agreed dejectedly, "But at least you tried…"

"What if I made things worse though? What if she tells the police I tried to intimidate her… god Steph I'm so scared I've really messed up this time…"

Steph slipped her arm around her youngest brothers shoulder and rested her head against his.

There was nothing she could say to help, nothing anyone could say. The only person who could clear the whole mess up and admit the truth was the one person who had no intention of doing any such thing.


	3. Chapter 3

After an hour with Jake and Steph Craig was getting twitchy. His mind was constantly flitting to the blonde haired man back at the flat and he could hardly concentrate on anything that was being said to him.

"Craig… Craig are you even listening to me?" Steph asked with a chuckle, as it was obvious her brother hadn't been paying the slightest bit of attention to her words.

"Sorry… sorry Steph… Look I've really gotta get going…"

"Which," Steph said thumping her brother playfully, "Is exactly what I HAD been saying… it's clear your mind's back with John Paul, the rest of you might as well get there too."

"What should I tell him...?"

"About what?"

"You know… me talking to Natalie…"

"Don't…"

"What? I can't lie to him."

"D'you really wanna worry him? Chances are nothing will come of it… hasn't he got enough on his mind already?"

---

Craig raised his hand to the doorbell and jumped as the front door opened before he had even made contact with the plastic disc.

"Craig!" Myra's face broke into a smile as she saw the young man on the doorstep, "John Paul said you were back, it's good to see ya." Myra pulled Craig into her arms, wrapping him in a warm motherly embrace that sent his thoughts back to Frankie, he could never have imagined her holding John Paul in that way, but he had been robbed of the chance to ever find out.

"I'm glad you're here for him."

"Where else would I be?" Craig replied with a half smile as Myra released her hold and stepped out of the hallway.

"If I ever get my hands on that little…" Jacqui's voice snarled as she followed her mother from John Paul's flat.

"You'll do nothing," Myra interrupted, "We don't wanna go making things worse now do we?"

Although Craig knew that Myra's words had been directed to Jacqui he felt instantly wracked with guilt. Of course everyone who loved John Paul wanted to confront Natalie but he had been the only one stupid enough to do it. Passing into the hallway Craig caught John Paul's eye, his look was so trusting that Craig had to avert his gaze as the feeling that he had let John Paul down clawed at his chest.

After saying goodbye to his mother and sister John Paul followed Craig back into the flat. Craig's eyes were looking anywhere but at him and John Paul felt their loss sharply. Despite Craig's words of assurance it seemed that things were already changing between them. But even worse than that as Craig flinched away from John Paul's touch he feared that it was Craig's feelings that were changing.

"Linda in?" Craig asked trying to sound more cheerful than he felt.

"Gone to the library to study," John Paul replied flatly falling into the depths of the sofa and wrapping himself tightly in his despair.

"D'you wanna brew?" Craig asked as he headed towards the kitchen. "John Paul… John Paul…" Craig stopped and turned to look at the man slumped onto the sofa. His shoulders were hunched and his head hung low in defeat. "John Paul what is it? What's happened?"

Returning to John Paul's side Craig fell to his knees cupping John Paul's face in his hands, wincing slightly at the look of anguish in his delicate blue eyes. "What's wrong… tell me…"

Craig's touch felt wonderful and terrible as it stroked gently against John Paul's cheeks and the look of concern in Craig's eyes cut into John Paul like a blade. Everything was so screwed up that John Paul didn't know what was real anymore. He couldn't be sure of anything, not himself, not Craig, not even their love. Had that ever been real or had he always been kidding himself? Was it sympathy that he saw in Craig's eyes or pity? Was it really love in his touch, had it ever been, could it ever be?

"Do you still…" John Paul paused uncertain he wanted to ask the question; uncertain he wanted to know the answer.

"What?"

"D'you still fancy me?" John Paul's cheeks flushed as he turned to look at the floor.

"John Paul!" Craig exclaimed in exasperation. Rage bubbled in Craig's chest. He wasn't having this. Natalie had done enough damage she wasn't taking this from them as well. She had stolen enough from John Paul she wasn't going to make him doubt Craig's love as well, he wouldn't let her.

Grabbing hold of John Paul's hand Craig hauled him to his feet and dragged him into the bedroom.

"Look at yourself," Craig demanded as he stood John Paul in front of the full length mirror that was fixed against one of the wardrobe doors, "Go on look… what do you see?"

John Paul shrugged as his eyes were dragged from his own reflection to gaze at the wonder of the dark eyes beside him.

"Look at you not me," Craig reprimanded with a laugh.

John Paul turned his gaze back to himself and saw nothing but the reflection that he had always seen, an ordinary man, a nobody very special. His skin was too pale, the shade of blue in his eyes too weak, his ears were too big, the man reflected in the mirror was just John Paul, just Mr Average, not like the incredible beauty of Craig. He didn't have the softly tanned skin or the deep mesmerising eyes that he adored in the other man.

"It's just me," John Paul said simply.

"Shall I tell you what I see then?" Craig said with a smile as he looked over the image of the man that could reduce him to weakness with a single glance. "I see the most gorgeous man I have ever seen in my life…"

"Look at this hair," Craig began stroking the top of John Paul's head, "So soft and shiny and it always smells so good," Craig breathed John Paul's scent deeply in his lungs as he spoke. "And look at those eyes. God John Paul I've never seen eyes like them… I look into them and I feel like I'm falling… I'm falling and I never want to stop." Craig looked at the reflected blue globes as he spoke, shining at him like a pair of wonderful and mysterious worlds that he would never weary of discovering. "I could stare into your eyes for the rest of my life and never tire of them… and that mouth…" Craig ran his thumb over John Paul's lips, "Just thinking about kissing that mouth turns me on…" Craig took a deep breath, the closeness of John Paul was doing just that and he fought to hold back the trembling in his voice. "You have no idea how many times I've lay in bed at night thinking about that mouth, remembering how it feels pressed against mine, remembering how incredible it tastes, wanting to taste it over and over again and never stop."

John Paul's eyes were fixed on Craig's hands as they moved over his body, describing each place they came to rest with such passion that John Paul's flesh was powerless to resist.

"And I love this chest," Craig continued stroking his hands over its firmness, "So strong, I love the way your nipples jump to attention to let me know you want me… and I love the way I can make your heart race just by touching you." Craig rested his hand over John Paul's heart feeling its steady beat.

"Just by being there…" John Paul corrected in a breathy voice.

Craig's hands roamed lower, stroking gently over John Paul's middle.

"Now you can't have anything good to say there," John Paul challenged, "I've hardly got a six-pack!"

"I wouldn't want you to," Craig asserted, "That would mean you spent too much time at the gym… and not enough time with me!"

Craig's hands slid down over John Paul's legs. "You've got such gorgeous thighs," he breathed into John Paul's ear, "So firm… so soft…" Craig ran his hands over the front of John Paul's thighs and then stroked gently up their insides, "I love the way you moan when I lick you just here…"

John Paul whimpered quietly at the touch. Craig lifted his eyes back to the reflection of John Paul's face. The man's cheeks were flushed and his chest was rising heavily with each breath. John Paul's eyes rose to meet Craig's as they looked into each other. Craig's hands were still paused at the top of John Paul's thighs and, although he could see the man's obvious arousal he was loath to push things further if John Paul was still uncertain about himself.

The heat of Craig's hands seemed to be burning into John Paul's skin, increasing his arousal by the second until he was ready to scream. Craig's chest was pressed close against his back and he could feel the hardness of Craig's erection resting firmly against him.

"Shall I carry on?" Craig's deep brown eyes seemed to be asking.

"Don't stop…" John Paul whispered, words that were lost in a gasp as Craig's hands moved up to softly cup at his groin.

"Do I really need to tell you how much I love your dick?" Craig asked as he pressed his mouth into John Paul's neck, biting and licking at the soft skin and making John Paul moan quietly. "I love the way it feels… in my hand… in my mouth… filling me… wanting me… as much as I want you…" Craig eased down John Paul's zip and released his cock to the air. Both men stood transfixed as they watched their reflections in the mirror. Craig's hand moving slowly and firmly over the length of John Paul's cock, easing the foreskin back to reveal the shiny head already glistening with arousal, before sliding it back down again. Each movement of Craig's hand made John Paul's breathing heavier as the man's touch excited him, an excitement that was magnified by the sight of themselves reflected in the mirror.

"I love it when I make you come," Craig breathed heavily, "When you cry out my name as if there isn't another person in the world… I love that I can make you feel that good… as good as you make me feel…"

John Paul pushed himself back against Craig's body, grinding against the erection that was straining inside the man's trouser and making Craig moan with pent up desire.

"Make love to me Craig," John Paul urged without ever taking his eyes from the seductive image of Craig's hand caressing his cock, "I need to feel you inside me… wanting me…"

"John Paul I do want you… so much…"

John Paul pressed his hands against the cold glass of the mirror as Craig released his cock and eased his trousers and boxers down below his knees, returning his hands to knead at the soft buttocks.

"There's somewhere else I forgot to tell you how much I love…" Craig said as he pressed saliva-coated fingers against the tight hole nestled between John Paul's buttocks.

"Craig…" The name fell from John Paul's lips in a gasp as the man's finger pushed slowly inside him.

"I adore your arse John Paul… I love the way I can make you moan when I do this…" Craig pushed a second finger into John Paul's tightness, forcing them deeper and bringing a throaty moan from John Paul as he did so. "And I love how… if I push just a little bit deeper I can make you…"

"Oh god Craig…" John Paul's body shuddered as Craig's fingers pushed against the wondrous spot he had been aiming for.

"…how I can make you do that…" Craig said with a satisfied smile.

Once again the men's eyes met in the reflection of the mirror, dark and heavy with desire they watched each other intently. John Paul's mouth hung slightly open, whimpers and moans slipping from his lips as Craig's fingers plundered his body deeply.

"God I want you so much right now John Paul," Craig said as he looked into the sapphire pools that seemed to consume him.

"I want you too Craig… I want you now…"

Craig freed his cock from the jeans that had been confining it for too long and pushed it gently against the opening that his fingers had been preparing. John Paul's eyes opened wide as the thickness of Craig's cock eased into him, filling and stretching him in a way nothing else ever could. His legs shook as Craig's cock slid fully into him, the man's chest coming to rest flatly against his back.

"Nothing ever feels as good as being with you," Craig moaned as he took hold of John Paul's cock again, "Nothing ever feels as good as making love to you…"

The two men watched as the reflections of their bodies moved together, Craig's cock sliding in and out of the hot tight hold of John Paul's flesh while his hand stroked firmly over the length of John Paul's cock.

John Paul stared, unblinking, as Craig's hand moved over him, making his cock pulse and throb heavily as the hardness pushing into him thrilled him again and again.

"You feel so good," Craig whispered biting and nibbling at John Paul's neck, "I wanna make you come John Paul… I wanna hear you call my name as you come…"

John Paul's fingers clawed at the smooth glass beneath his palms. He hadn't realised how much watching Craig make love to him would excite him and his body trembled with a soon to be released desire.

"Oh god Craig… God that feels so good…"

Craig couldn't hold back. He had wanted to show John Paul how beautiful he was but in describing everything about the man the he loved he had made his own need far stronger than it ever had been before.

"Come for me John Paul," Craig urged as he drove his cock harder and faster into the man, his grip against John Paul's cock tightening the heavier it throbbed.

Crying out Craig's name John Paul watched hypnotised, as his cock pulsed out heavily. His body shook as he came and the hot sticky fluid spattered over the mirror before him.

Seeing the reflection of John Paul's climax was overwhelming for Craig and he slipped an arm around the man's middle, pulling him close as, with a few more thrusts, he filled John Paul's body with the heat of his adoration.

"You're gorgeous John Paul… and I love you," Craig said gently, "And… and look at yourself right now…" Craig took hold of John Paul's chin and tipped the man's face upwards towards the mirror. John Paul was surprised to see a glow about his face and a sparkle in his eyes that he had never witnessed before. "You're never more beautiful than when we've just made love…"

John Paul blinked slowly, forcing a single tear over his cheek. It wasn't a tear of anguish that tumbled over John Paul's porcelain skin but rather a tear of unsurpassed happiness.

"I don't know how I ever got through a day without you Craig Dean," John Paul said as he leant his head back into the support of the man behind him.

"Because you know I am always here… no matter where I am… and don't ever forget that… don't ever think that I don't want you cause I do… I always will."

Craig looked into the mirror and his deep dark eyes flashed. "But you know what I really fancy now?" he asked as he ran his tongue over his lips suggestively.

John Paul shook his head; he couldn't think of a single physical craving that Craig hadn't already satisfied.

"What?"

Craig's face held a wide grin as he wrapped both arms around John Paul's chest and kissed the side of his cheek. "I really fancy… something to eat – I'm famished!"

John Paul laughed and hit playfully at Craig's arms as his stomach growled its approval of the suggestion.

"Me too," John Paul agreed as he reluctantly stepped out of Craig's hold and adjusted his clothing. John Paul's eyes flickered back to the mirror, the evidence of their recent activity still splattered over the glass. "But I think I should clean that up first!"

"OK," Craig agreed brushing a kiss against John Paul's cheek, "You do that and I'll go fix us some food… Oh and John Paul…"

"Yeah?"

"You DO get that I still fancy you… right?"

"I don't know…" John Paul replied with a mischievous grin, "You might just have to explain it to me again some time soon!"

As Craig left the bedroom John Paul looked back at his reflection and smiled. Any doubts of Craig's love had been washed from his mind and for a perfect moment in time John Paul felt as beautiful as the man Craig could see.

---

"Come on… come out for a drink with me." Craig looked at John Paul with the best puppy dog eyes he could manage.

"I don't know…" John Paul couldn't keep the smile from his face as Craig batted his long thick eyelashes and pouted his soft pink lips.

"Please," Craig cooed softly, "Just for one… to the Dog… I've hardly been out of this flat in two days I'm getting stir crazy."

"Well you can still go," John Paul reasoned.

Craig shook his head slowly and curled his fingers between John Paul's. "I want to go WITH YOU… that's the whole point…Besides it's been ages since I've been able to show off my gorgeous boyfriend."

John Paul laughed. There was no denying his confidence had increased dramatically thanks to Craig, but going to the pub where he knew everyone would be staring at him, judging him, that was a different thing all together.

"He doesn't feel very gorgeous right now."

Craig tilted his head to one side as he looked into the luscious pools of John Paul's eyes. "I hope that's not a hint for me to prove how much I fancy you again," Craig said with a laugh, "… although if it IS the pub could always wait!"

Leaning over Craig pressed his lips softly against John Paul's mouth, his hand sliding over John Paul's cheek as they both sank into the warmth of the kiss.

"So what d'you say," Craig asked with a suggestive grin, "Pub or bedroom?"

John Paul snaked his arms around Craig's waist to pull the man close to him as the sound of the doorbell broke into the quiet ambience of the room.

"Typical!" Craig said with a grumble. The now customary worry flashed in John Paul's eyes, despite having had no unwanted visitors over the past few days John Paul was still conscious of their ability to appear at any second.

"We could always ignore it," Craig suggested as he moved closer to John Paul again.

"Better not," John Paul replied with some reluctance, "Could be important… only…"

"Don't worry I'll get it."

Craig rose from the sofa, his fingers keeping their contact with John Paul for as long as they could as he headed to the door.

John Paul watched Craig's departing back with a sigh. He couldn't believe that he had tried to "protect" Craig by not telling him what had happened. If Craig hadn't been around for the last few days John Paul was certain that he would have give up by now. But Craig's determination and his love had kept John Paul going, kept him hoping that justice would win in the end and no matter what John Paul knew that he could keep on fighting as long as Craig was by his side.

Closing his eyes John Paul basked in the memory of Craig's lips, their softness, their warmth and the way that their presence against his mouth made John Paul feel alive.

"John Paul…" Craig's voice interrupted John Paul's musing and he turned his face to the door as the dark haired man returned, "It's Calvin…"

John Paul got to his feet, desperately trying not to notice how badly his legs were shaking. Craig was by John Paul's side in an instant, their hands clasped tightly together as they both observed the policeman before them.

Calvin wasn't in uniform and John Paul clung to the hope that this meant the visit wasn't official. Calvin couldn't be here to arrest him or charge him, not if he was out of uniform; John Paul was almost certain that was the case.

"They were gonna call you into the station tomorrow John Paul," Calvin said, "But I was passing on my way home… and I kinda wanted to tell you myself…"

John Paul took a deep breath. The room seemed to be spinning and Calvin's words sounded like they were coming from so far away, echoing in John Paul's head and reverberating through his brain.

Calvin was one of the good guys and even though his relationship with Carmel hadn't lasted long (a romance with a policeman really was doomed in the McQueen household) John Paul had always liked the man and he silently prayed that that wasn't about to change.

Craig could feel John Paul's hand trembling in his own as time seemed to freeze. Calvin's mouth moved slowly but the words appeared to be clawing their way through the thickening air, fighting to be heard and then battling to be understood.

"I'm sorry can you just repeat that?" Craig asked shaking his head. He can't possibly have heard what he thought he had heard, could he?

Calvin laughed. He loved being a policeman but sometimes being the bringer of bad news could be so soul destroying, being able to deliver good news once in a while seemed to redress the balance.

"I said… the allegation against John Paul has been withdrawn… no charges are gonna be brought, the case is closed."

"How… how… how…" John Paul was aware he was repeating himself but no other words seemed capable of forming in his mouth. He looked at Craig in amazement, "How?"

Calvin smiled at the two younger men, their mouths opening and closing soundlessly reminded him of guppies at feeding time and he chuckled at the image.

"Now normally," Calvin continued trying his best to sound serious and official, "We wouldn't recommend friends of a suspect confront their accuser…" Craig flashed a guilty look at John Paul and John Paul's reply that no one he knows would have done such a thing died on his lips. "But in this case it seemed to work out for the best. Your conversation with Natalie was overheard Craig… and the witness decided to report the conversation to us… once she was confronted with this new evidence Natalie admitted she made the whole thing up."

Craig's brow furrowed. "Who heard us?"

"That's the funny thing," Calvin replied, "Of all the people it could have been… it was Sarah Barnes…"

Craig saw Calvin to the door, thanking him over and over again for taking the detour on his way home to deliver the good news. John Paul's face was unreadable as Craig walked back into the room.

"You spoke to Natalie?" Still John Paul's face was impassive.

"I didn't mean to… it just sorta happened…"

"You could have made everything worse…"

"I know…"

"Craig you could have ruined everything…"

"I know… I didn't think…"

"And then you didn't even tell me."

"I didn't want to worry you…"

"Christ Craig Dean you are…" John Paul grabbed Craig's shoulders roughly, his blue eyes dazzling brightly, "… you are an absolute wonder!"

John Paul's hands fell to Craig's back and he pulled the man close.

"It's over," John Paul whispered into Craig's hair, "It's really over…"

---

Sarah Barnes applied the third coat of mascara to her already darkened lashes and smiled at herself in the mirror. Tilting her head slightly she decided she looked gorgeous, but then she was a model, so her beauty was pretty much a given these days.

Coating her lips with a deep red gloss Sarah decided she was ready to face her public. Reaching for her coat Sarah's hand hesitated when she heard a knock at the door.

"Typical," she thought with an internal sigh, "just when I'm about to go out."

Opening her front door Sarah was greeted by two faces from her past.

"Well, well," Sarah said stepping back and letting the two men in, "I wondered if I might be hearing from you."

"You're looking well Sarah," Craig said trying to sound casual. He hadn't seen the woman he betrayed since he first left for Dublin and he felt uncomfortable in her presence.

"I am," Sarah replied running her hands through her long hair and flicking it back over one shoulder.

"Look Sarah I just wanted to…" John Paul searched for the words that would ever be enough to express his gratitude for what she had done, "I don't know what to say but… thank you… thank you so much… you don't know what your going to the police means to me… if it hadn't been for you…"

"What do you take me for John Paul? I'm hardly gonna let an innocent man suffer when I know the truth…"

"I would hardly have blamed you if you had… not after what I… what we did…"

Sarah looked at the two men before her. Craig Dean, the one time love of her life. There was a time when she believed that she would be with him forever, there was a time when he sent her pulse racing just by walking into a room and there was a time when he broke her heart. John Paul McQueen, her one time friend. There was a time when the thought he was the most sincere person she would ever meet, there was a time when she thought the friendship of their group would last forever and there was a time when he broke her heart.

"You know what," she said looking calmly into John Paul's soft blue eyes, "if this had happened to you a while ago, I dunno a year ago or something, maybe I would have left you to suffer. Maybe I would have seen you charged, jailed, whatever and thought you deserved it… What you two did, the way you treated me, humiliated me, lied to me… I'll never forgive that…"

"Sarah I'm really…" Craig began.

"I've not finished," Sarah snapped. She hadn't realised that she still had things she wanted to say to these men but now they were here, in front of her, together, with their fingers nervously interlinked, an action Sarah was almost certain they weren't consciously aware of, now was the time to speak.

"YOU," Sarah glared at Craig, "You were supposed to be my boyfriend, my fiancé, you were supposed to love me… and YOU," Sarah's glare turned to John Paul, "you were supposed to be my friend, you were supposed to be on my side… but what did you do? The pair of you… sleeping together behind my back for months… cheating on me… making a fool of me…"

"Sarah we're…" John Paul tried.

"Still not finished… The two of you broke my heart… I didn't think I'd get over it… hell I didn't even think I'd survive for a while… but you know what… I did… It took me a while but I realised that I deserved better than you… I deserved better than a man who would jump into bed with his best mate and I deserved better than a friend who would sleep with my fiancé. John Paul what you did to me at my engagement party… that was cruel… it was mean and it was nasty but really I should thank you…"

"Thank me?"

"At least you had the courage to let me know the truth… I'll never forgive the way you did it… but at least you did… you couldn't do it could you Craig? You couldn't be honest with me not even when I walked in on the two of you…"

"You're right I couldn't… not then," Craig's fingers wrapped tighter around John Paul's, "And I am sorry… you did deserve better…"

"Still, that's all in the past now. I will never forgive you John Paul… but what that girl was saying… what she was accusing you of, I knew it couldn't be true and when I heard her say as much to Craig, well I couldn't pretend I didn't know the truth… whatever you might have done to me… you still didn't deserve that."

For the first time in years John Paul felt a sadness at the loss of the friendships that had meant so much to him during his final year in high school. How different things might have been if he had never fallen for Craig but he knew, in the end, Craig's love was worth any sacrifice.

"Thank you," John Paul said in a low voice, "I don't know what else to say Sarah… thank you so much…"

"It's OK." Sarah's hand rested lightly on John Paul's arm for a moment and then was gone and her eyes, for a second, held the softness of the young girl she had once been.

"Look I don't mean to be rude… but I am on my way out… so if that was all…" Sarah began to head back towards the front door as she spoke and the two men had no option but to follow her.

"Yeah we won't keep you," John Paul said as the door was opened before him, "But thank you… really thank you…"

"Goodbye John Paul." There was something final in Sarah's farewell and John Paul had a feeling he would never see her again.

"Oh Craig…" Sarah caught Craig's arm and pulled him back for a second leaving John Paul to step out into the street on his own. "Was it worth it?"

"Sorry?"

"You and John Paul… was it worth it?"

Craig considered his answer. He didn't want to be cruel but she deserved the truth, he owed her that much at least.

"I love him Sarah… I really do… more than I ever thought I could."

"I'm glad."

"Are you?"

"Yeah… I would have hated to think you put me through all that for nothing…"

"I am sorry.

"I know you are… goodbye Craig."

The front door closed before Craig had a chance to reply.

Sarah looked around the flat that had been her family's home for the past few years and was startled to see how small it seemed. A collection of pink suitcases were stacked in one corner and the sight of them made her smile. Freedom was now only days away, a new life and a new beginning. And now Sarah realised that she could leave Hollyoaks behind without a backward glance, all the old ghosts had been laid to rest.

---

Linda looked at the clock and frowned. The fact that Craig had gotten John Paul out of the flat was a good thing; the fact that they had been gone for hours now was beginning to worry her. Turning her phone over in her hands Linda considered calling John Paul just to make sure he was OK.

She had barely accessed John Paul's name in her mobile's phonebook when Linda heard the front door open.

"Where have you two been? You could have called me or something…" Linda was aware that she sounded like someone's mother, frighteningly like her own mother, but she didn't care, she had been worried.

"Well where have you been? What's…" Linda saw the amused expressions on the faces of the two men, but it was more than just amusement that shone in their eyes. "What's going on? What's happened? Oh my god!" The realisation hit Linda full in the chest and if she hadn't already been seated she would have surely fallen. "She's told the truth hasn't she… it's over, it's actually over…"

John Paul gripped Linda's hand and pulled her to her feet. "It certainly is," he said with glee as he swept the young woman into the air and spun her around in circles. Finally depositing her feet back on the ground John Paul held Linda close and kissed her, gently and firmly, a full loving kiss squarely on her lips.

Linda had scarcely caught her breath before she was once again lifted into the air as Craig swiftly repeated John Paul's actions, spinning the woman in circles before kissing her as gently and as firmly as John Paul had done.

"How… why… what…" Linda stammered. She wasn't certain if the spinning or the sudden unexpected kisses caused the dizziness in her head but she had a feeling it was more the latter than the former.

"I'll tell you all about it over a few drinks," John Paul announced, "We're going to the Loft!"

Without warning Linda broke into heavy sobs as tears flowed down her cheeks. She hadn't even realised how much of the worry and pain she had been holding onto until that moment, until it was released and she felt the burden of its weight lifted from her.

"Hey, hey, what's this?" John Paul asked gently as he wiped away Linda's tears, "This is supposed to be a happy time…"

"It is… I am… It's just…" Linda's voice shook as she spoke, "Oh god John Paul's it's all just been so awful… I don't know what I would have done if…"

"Shh it's all OK now," John Paul wrapped one arm around Linda and kissed the top of her head. Holding out his other arm to Craig he pulled the two people against him. "I couldn't have got through this without the two of you, you know… you've got no idea how much you mean to me… both of you… I love you both so much…"

For a few minutes the three friends stood together in a silent embrace, holding on to the people they cherished and celebrating the future they had ahead of them.

"Come on now…" John Paul said with a wide smile, "There is beer to be drunk out there…"

"Give me five minutes," Linda said wiping the last of the tears from her cheeks. John Paul raised his eyebrows at the time estimate. "OK half an hour… half an hour max and I'll be ready."

"Shall I put the kettle on?" Craig asked with a grin.

"Kettle?" John Paul laughed, "We can cook a roast dinner in the time it's gonna take Lin to get ready."

"Oi cheeky," Linda said as she skipped from the room, "A girl's gotta look her best."


	4. Chapter 4

"You're drunk!" Craig couldn't keep the laughter from his voice as John Paul slumped against the front door. Even in the orange illumination of the streetlight, even with his eyes blearily unfocused and his hair sticking up at strange angles John Paul still looked gorgeous.

"I am," John Paul confirmed in a happy drunken slur, "What am I?"

"Drunk," Craig repeated with a laugh.

"Linda," John Paul said in a mournful tone, "Craig says I'm drunk…"

"That's cause you are," Linda told him, patting his arm affectionately as she opened the door, allowing John Paul to half stagger and half fall inside.

John Paul was giggling as he wavered his way into the living room and threw himself ungainly onto the sofa.

"I'm really sorry Craig," Linda said in a voice that said she was anything but sorry.

"What you sorry for?"

Linda took a moment to observe her flatmate, lying prone on the sofa singing something to himself that was almost entirely out of tune. "Cause I'm off to bed and I'm gonna leave you to sort out him!"

Looking down on John Paul Craig could see her point and sighed. But he still couldn't keep the smile from his face. It didn't matter how drunk John Paul would ever get, how sick, how angry, how annoying… how anything… Craig knew he would always be happy to be there for it. As long as it was John Paul that was getting drunk, or sick, or angry or annoying or anything else then Craig would be there, wanted to be there.

"Linda, Linda, Linda," John Paul slurred with a lopsided smiled, "C'mere…" Grabbing Linda's hand he pulled her onto the sofa and covered her face with sloppy kisses.

"Get off me you lunatic," Linda giggled trying, although not very hard, to fight of her drunken friend.

"I love you Lin… really I do…"

"Yeah, love you too John Paul… now get off I'm going to bed…"

"Craig," John Paul turned his eyes to his boyfriend, "Linda says she's going to bed…" John Paul's voice was sad and pitiful, an effect that was marred slightly as he hiccupped.

"Of course she is," Craig said patiently helping Linda back to her feet, "Cause it's late… we're going to bed too…"

"That's good then," John Paul sighed contentedly as he closed his eyes.

"Goodnight boys," Linda laughed leaning over to kiss John Paul's cheek before doing the same to Craig, "Sweet dreams."

"Oh no you don't," Craig said looking down on John Paul, "No falling asleep till we get you in the bedroom…" John Paul's eyes flicked open as Craig took his hands and, instead of pulling John Paul to his feet, Craig managed to end up sitting on the younger man's lap.

Linda stood in the doorway for a moment watching the happiness on the faces of her two friends. Over the months she had seen their renewed relationship develop through Craig's all too infrequent visits. But it was moments like this, when she saw them alone, when they weren't aware they were being observed that she could really see how much they loved each other.

Perched precariously on John Paul's knee Craig stroked John Paul's cheek softly as he stared into the man's beautiful, if slightly blood shot, eyes.

"I love you, you old drunk," Craig said teasingly.

"Hey," John Paul complained, "I'm younger than you!"

Linda watched as the two men came together in a kiss that was so filled with tenderness it almost made her heart break. That anything had ever been able to get in the way of that love or that anyone would ever want to was almost unthinkable. When Linda looked at John Paul and Craig she was in no doubt that what she saw was love. A sad smile played over Linda's lips as she left the two men alone, she hoped that one day she would find a love as wonderful as the one those two shared.

"Come on then," Craig said as he reluctantly got to his feet, "Time to get you to bed."

"Are you propositioning me Mr Dean?"

"What? With the amount you've drunk? I don't think it would be worth my effort…"

"Well," John Paul pouted, "I was… what was I doing?"

"Celebrating…"

"Yes… I was celebrating." Taking Craig's hand John Paul allowed himself to be pulled to his feet and the two men slowly made their way to the bedroom.

"I'm glad I was celebrating with you," John Paul mumbled as he fell back onto the bed, "I love you Craig Dean… Craig Dean… Craig Dean… Daig Crean…" John Paul repeated the name over and over like a mantra until the words became jumbled in his mouth and faded away as his breathing began to slow.

"Oh no no no," Craig laughed as he pictured himself having to manhandle the unconscious McQueen into bed, "Come on… don't go to sleep on me now…"

"Craigy Deany…" John Paul giggled to himself as Craig hoisted him upright, pulling his shirt over his head and then letting him fall back against the mattress.

"Let's get them trousers off," Craig said unbuttoning John Paul's fly and yanking his trousers down firmly.

"You trying it on with me?" John Paul asked half opening his eyes as Craig finally pulled his trousers, shoes and socks from the end of his legs.

"Course I am," Craig confirmed as he turned back the duvet and ushered John Paul into the bed, "You're irresistible when you're like this…"

"You're irrissss… irrisisty…. You're that too," John Paul said snuggling into the warmth of his bed as the alcohol finally lured him into unconsciousness.

Dropping his own clothes in a pile on the floor Craig climbed into the bed next to the drunken man. Leaning on his elbow for a few minutes he watched as John Paul slept. His mouth hung open slightly and a soft snore rumbled in his throat as a trail a drool dribbled from his lips. John Paul was the perfect epitome of drunkenness and yet somehow he still managed to be the most beautiful thing that Craig had ever seen.

"Sleep well," Craig whispered as he kissed the top of John Paul's head before resting his head on the deep soft pillow. Just as sleep came to claim Craig he felt John Paul's body move closer to him, gravitating towards him even in his deep drunken sleep and, as Craig finally gave way to slumber, he felt the total contentment that he had searched for all of his life.

---

The first rays of morning were beginning to illuminate the dark sky, pushing away the blackness and returning light to the day.

John Paul shivered slightly as he stared from his bedroom window. He had awoken as short time earlier with a raging thirst and banging headache. A large glass of water and two aspirin had taken away the worst of his hangover and he felt at peace as he watched the start of the new day.

"Everything OK?" A sleepy voice called from the bed. Craig hadn't been certain what had woken him in the silent room until he felt the absence of John Paul by his side.

"Yeah," John Paul whispered, "Fine… I was just… I dunno… watching…"

Keeping a hold of the duvet Craig padded barefoot to the window where he pulled John Paul into the warmth of his arms and the heat of the bed covering.

"You'll get a chill," he reprimanded as he rested his chin on John Paul's shoulder.

"Still looking after me…"

"Always…"

The two men stood silently as they watched the dawn break over the village. They had seen sunrises together before, they had seen sunsets and they had seen everything in between. But this sunrise was special. This one marked the start of everything new. The darkness that had overshadowed them was lifted and the future was something that they could look forward to again, together.

"So we celebrated well last night then?" John Paul asked as the beauty of the sunrise finally faded into morning.

"We certainly did," Craig agreed as he hugged John Paul close.

"Did I do anything stupid?" John Paul asked as he realised various portions of the evening were missing from his memory.

"Nah," Craig assured him, "Apart from dancing naked on top of a table in the Loft…"

"I did not…" John Paul said firmly, "Did I…?"

Craig laughed, "Course not… but who would have blamed you if you had? And I certainly wouldn't have complained!"

Turning around in Craig's arms John Paul looked into the beautiful deep brown eyes of the man he loved. John Paul felt his heart skip a beat as Craig looked at him, looked into him and saw him more completely than anyone else had ever been able to.

A sudden look of sadness passed over John Paul's face and he couldn't hold back a sigh.

"Why so sad?" Craig asked even though he was almost certain he knew the answer.

John Paul's arms slipped around Craig's waist and he pulled the man close to him.

"I couldn't have got through all this without you Craig," he said quietly.

"I didn't really do anything…"

"You did everything… you came back when I needed you… but now I'm gonna have to let you go back again aren't I?"

Craig nodded in agreement. "But you know… I'm sure we can string this out another few days…"

"Yeah that's only fair," John Paul agreed his eyes sparkling with mischief as he pushed Craig back towards the bed. "Besides… we haven't finished celebrating yet!"

John Paul stopped as he took a grip of the duvet that Craig still held around them and pushed it to the floor revealing the almost naked form of perfection before him. Dressed only in his boxers Craig shivered slightly as John Paul's eyes devoured him. His gaze resembled that of a starving man presented with a banquet and uncertain which delicacy to consume first.

"God sometimes I forget just how gorgeous you are," John Paul said as his eyes roamed freely over the firmness of Craig's body. His gaze caressed Craig's chest, drinking in the sight of his pecs, sliding down his taught belly and firm thighs before rising back up to the growing hardness hidden behind the soft cotton fabric and then climbing to meet the stare of Craig's deep brown eyes. "When you're not here I think I must be imagining you look that good… I just wish I…" John Paul stopped as a huge grin spread over his face and he raced to his cupboard, pulling open a top drawer and rummaging inside before letting out a cry of glee.

Craig shook his head as he saw the object that John Paul removed from the drawer.

"No way," he said with a laugh.

"Oh come on…"

"No chance…"

"Just a couple… please… for me…" John Paul lowered his eyelids and stared pleadingly at Craig through his pale lashes in a look that Craig had used on him so often he was well aware of the effect. Seeing Craig's resolve begin to slip John Paul raised the camera and snapped the image of Craig stood in the centre of the room wearing nothing but his boxers.

"Nice," John Paul commented as he looked at the image on the display before lining up the camera for another shot, "Come on then… give us a pose!"

Craig struck a few "macho" poses as the camera clicked at him making both of them laugh deeply.

After taking several pictures John Paul lowered the camera and looked at Craig expectantly.

"Well?" John Paul asked with a mischievous glint in his eyes.

"What?"

"Go on… take em off!"

"Not a chance…"

"You know you want to…"

"D'you really think I'm gonna let you take pictures of me in the buff?"

Stepping forward John Paul slid his empty hand around Craig's back, pulling him forward and pressing their groins together.

"I will if you will," John Paul breathed into Craig's ear as his hand moved down Craig's back and slipped under the elasticated waistband of his boxers.

Craig swallowed heavily, his arousal growing harder as John Paul pushed against him, their mouths crashing together in a deep passionate kiss that left them both flushed and panting. As John Paul eased Craig's boxers to the floor the man felt no further desire to object, his cock throbbed heavily as John Paul stepped back to frame his completely naked form on the screen of his camera.

"Let's try it on the bed," John Paul directed in his role of photographer, although the pictures he was taking were never going to be public property.

Resting his back against the headboard Craig placed his hands behind his head and slowly licked his lips, seeing John Paul standing at the foot of the bed just watching him made Craig's cock ache harder than he had ever expected. John Paul's hands shook as he took in the incredibly erotic sight before him and had to take a few deep breaths before he could concentrate on getting the shot.

"God you look hot," John Paul moaned as he used all his strength not to throw the camera to one side and show Craig just how sexy he looked.

"How about this?" Craig asked rising to his knees, holding his cock in one hand and stroking the other across his chest.

John Paul gulped at the sight and pressed the camera's button several times before he could resist no longer and climbed onto the bed to pull the gorgeous man to him.

"Not so fast," Craig teased as he pushed John Paul away and grabbed the camera from his hand, "I think you owe me a few pictures now…"

With a laugh John Paul quickly tore off his boxers and took Craig's place on the bed, his soft pale skin was flushed pink with arousal and his cock was hard and full as he lay back on the bed and watched Craig as he directed the camera's lens towards him.

"Jesus!" Craig said as he took a shot and saw the naked man in bright colour on the camera's screen, "You are SO emailing me these photos…"

John Paul ran his hands slowly up his thighs, his eyes fixed on Craig's as the man snapped more pictures, stroking over his balls and then running the length of his cock. He hadn't realised how much having Craig watching him would turn him on, and knowing that the man was taking pictures every few seconds only added to his arousal.

John Paul's breathing grew heavier as his grip on his cock intensified making his body shudder with pleasure under Craig's constant gaze.

Craig's hands were starting to shake as he snapped more pictures but it wasn't long before his interest in photography left him and he rejoined John Paul on the bed, pressing his mouth hard against the man's beautiful lips and pushing John Paul's hand away so that he could caress his gorgeous cock.

Their moans mingled as their mouths pressed harder together, tongues swirling in the heat between them as they tasted each other deeply.

"One more thing," John Paul panted as he took the camera back from Craig's hand, where it had been almost forgotten. Pressing a few buttons John Paul directed the camera back to Craig's face. "Tell me what you want…" John Paul urged in a deep throaty voice.

"Have you got that on video?"

"Yeah… so come on… tell me…"

Craig licked his lips slowly and seductively, his gaze fixed on John Paul's deep mesmerising blue eyes, ignoring the presence of the camera all together.

"I want… I want you to suck me," Craig said with a lusty smile, "I want you to take me in your mouth, slow and deep, suck me all the way in until I come, I want you to make me come in your mouth… and then… then I want you to fuck me… I want to feel your dick hard inside me, I want you to fuck me deep and fast and I want to feel the heat of you filling me as you come…"

"Oh fuck this," John Paul said stopping the camera and throwing it to the side as he pushed Craig down onto the bed and climbed on top of him, straddling his hips and leaning down to kiss him deeply.

Their mouths met with voracious hunger as they devoured each other in a heavy kiss. Pressing his body firmly down onto Craig's John Paul ground his hips, pushing his cock in slow powerful strokes against Craig's making Craig moan loudly, raising himself up to increase the exquisite pressure.

John Paul began to move slowly down Craig's body, kissing, licking and nibbling at each inch of flesh that he passed. Pulling the taste of Craig's warm skin into his mouth and savouring its rich flavour. Craig whimpered at John Paul's tongue dipped into his belly button and then gently, painfully gently, traced down the length of his cock from head to base, the heat from his mouth covering it as the tip of his tongue only just made contact.

Lifting his gaze John Paul could see the want and the need deep inside Craig's eyes, a desire mixed with lust and fuelled by love that radiated from the soft brown of his stare.

Pushing Craig's legs apart John Paul ran his tongue over the soft skin of his thighs, biting it gently to the accompanying sounds of gasps and moans spilling from Craig's lips. John Paul breathed in the rich scent of Craig's groin, his mouth watering in a desire to taste more of him and his tongue flicking teasingly over Craig's balls.

"Oh god John Paul please…" Craig could hardly stand the delightful torment as John Paul's mouth licked and sucked all over his groin, tasting as his flesh, feasting on his balls and deliberately omitting the one area that needed his attention most of all.

"Are you sure?" John Paul teased with his mouth hovering over the head of Craig's cock, close enough that his words vibrated against it. "We could always go and put the kettle on!"

"For fucks sake!" Craig replied with a pained laugh, "Are you trying to kill me?"

"Well I wouldn't want that on my conscience," John Paul admitted as his lips parted to cover the very tip of Craig's cock, his tongue darting out to lap at its moist opening, pulling the salty taste of Craig's precum into his mouth.

Craig groaned at the sensation and bucked his hips, pushing his cock deeper into John Paul's mouth where it was welcomed with a deep heavy suck that made Craig groan even louder.

John Paul opened his mouth wider to accommodate the girth of Craig's hard cock, sucking it hard and deep until it almost made him gag. John Paul's tongue swirled over the thickness of Craig's cock as his head began to bob up and down on it, Craig's hips rising and falling in time, moving his cock in and out of the mouth that wrapped around it with perfection.

Slipping his fingers into the corner of his mouth John Paul coated them with saliva before pushing them between the soft roundness of Craig's buttocks. Raising himself up higher to grant John Paul better access Craig trembled with anticipation as John Paul's fingers stroked against his tight puckered opening.

John Paul sucked hard against Craig's cock as his fingertip eased gently into his tight hole making Craig whimper as it slipped deeper into him and spilling more and more precum into John Paul's mouth.

"Oh god… oh god…" Craig panted as the double pleasure of John Paul's mouth around his cock and his fingers pushing deeper into him made him writhe in delightful agony. Before long John Paul had two and then three fingers plunging into Craig's body, pushing them deeper and harder with the full knowledge that it wouldn't be long before Craig filled his mouth with his show of appreciation.

"Shit John Paul I'm gonna… oh Christ yes…" With a skilful thrust of his hand John Paul's fingers connected with the magic spot inside Craig and the older man was powerless to resist any longer as his cock pulsed deep into John Paul's throat. John Paul sucked hard as Craig cried out, his climax filling John Paul's mouth with heat as his body spasmed with the release. John Paul sucked and swallowed until Craig's body relaxed, slumping back against the bed with a satisfied sigh.

Climbing his way back up the bed John Paul smiled at the glazed look in Craig's eyes.

"Was that the sort of thing you had in mind?" he asked as he peppered Craig's face with kisses.

"Yeah it wasn't bad," Craig teased, a comment that earned him a playful punch in the ribs.

"Wasn't bad!" John Paul repeated in mock distress, "Just not bad?"

"No," Craig replied slipping his arms around John Paul's back and kissing him hard, "It was fucking amazing!"

"That's more like it!" John Paul said returning Craig's kiss, "Now let's see if we can improve on amazing!"

Sitting with his back against the headboard John Paul pulled Craig onto his lap. Running his hand over his cock John Paul stroked it firmly as Craig began to lower himself down. Lining the head of his cock with Craig's delicious opening both men gasped at the sensation as Craig's flesh was gently breached.

"Slowly Craig," John Paul directed, "I want to feel every single inch of you…"

As Craig lowered himself down onto the firmness of John Paul's cock his gaze was consumed by the deepness of John Paul's eyes, as he looked Craig could see a hundred new shades of blue, each one more beautiful and hypnotic than the last.

John Paul breathed deeply as the heat of Craig's tight flesh moved down onto his cock, taking it fully until he was totally enveloped inside. "God you feel incredible…"

He couldn't take his eyes from the intensity of Craig's stare and the men sat motionless for a moment, wrapped in each others look, the intensity of their physical sensation but more than anything else enjoying the certain knowledge of their shared love.

John Paul cupped Craig's face in his hands and kissed his lips gently.

"Craig Dean…" John Paul said the name quietly as if it were some magical incantation, or some amazing secret that only he knew, "Do you have any idea just how much I love you?"

Craig smiled into the multi-hued blue of John Paul's eyes. "If it's only half as much as I love you then I'd be happy."

John Paul's response was lost in Craig's mouth as the man leant into his chest, kissing him deeply and rising slowly from the hardness of John Paul's cock deep inside him.

John Paul wrapped his arms tight around Craig as they kissed, his hips rising in time to meet Craig's descent as their bodies moved together in a passionate reflection of their love.

Craig increased the speed of his movements to the growing growls of pleasure rumbling in John Paul's throat. The thickness of John Paul's cock filling him completely, pushing hard against that wondrous spot inside him and making him gasp in pleasure as his own cock was once again aroused, awoken by the pleasure of John Paul thrusting deep inside him.

Holding Craig close John Paul could feel the hardness of the man's cock pressing into his belly as the heat and tightness of his body gripped John Paul's cock to perfection. Part of John Paul wished he could stay like that forever, sharing his love and desire for Craig in a physical intimacy that had never felt so good with anyone else but he knew that his flesh wanted the rush of satisfaction and the rise and fall of Craig against his throbbing cock was bringing that release ever closer.

"I want to feel you come inside me," Craig breathed heavily into John Paul's ear, his cock throbbing hard between the friction of their two bodies bringing his second climax racing towards him. "Fuck me hard John Paul," Craig urged, "Fuck me hard and fast until you come… come deep inside me…"

"God… god Craig…" John Paul thrust his hips, driving his cock into the depths of Craig's flesh making them both cry out with the repeated onslaught of pleasures coursing through them.

"Come for me John Paul," Craig repeated as he rode the man beneath him ever harder. John Paul's chest heaved and his eyes were wide as his body trembled with excitement.

Craig shook as John Paul's cock hit his perfect spot over and over again, making him throw his head back and cry out as his orgasm throbbed through the length of his cock. Feeling the heat of Craig spilling over his belly John Paul gave into his desperate need and, thrusting deeply into Craig, he filled the man's body with his lust, shuddering and moaning loudly at the sensation and sending new shockwaves of pleasure through Craig's body leaving them both panting and exhausted.

Craig let his forehead fall forward and rest against John Paul's. Both men's brows glistened with sweat and their chests heaved as they pulled air deep into their lungs. With reluctance Craig lifted himself from John Paul's lap and collapsed onto the bed beside him.

"D'you think we improved on amazing?" John Paul asked as he shuffled to the end of the bed and reached for the duvet that had been forgotten on the floor.

"Oh I think so," Craig replied as John Paul returned to his side and pulled the duvet over them, "And you know what's even better?"

"What's that?"

Craig grinned. "It's still only early… so we can get some sleep and then do it all over again!"

---

The hot water tumbled soothingly over John Paul's body. He had woken feeling somewhat groggy after a heavy night drinking following by his early morning activities. His limbs ached with tiredness that the warmth of the water caressed as he stood under the showers stream.

Despite the fogginess of his head and the tiredness of his body the thing that John Paul felt most was contentment. For a while he had felt like he was watching his life crumble around him as lie after lie plunged him deeper into despair. But that all changed the moment Craig Dean walked through the door. The very second Craig had looked into John Paul's eyes without a moments doubt John Paul had felt safe. He still saw a long hard battle ahead of him but having Craig's faith, his belief, made that fight less daunting.

And then, without warning, the battle was over. The lies had ended and John Paul was set free from the accusations that had followed him around for days like a large neon sign that the whole village could see.

Because of Craig everything was good again. Because of Craig John Paul could smile and hold his head up high. Because of Craig. Everything good in John Paul's life, it seemed, was because of Craig.

When he awoke John Paul had looked down on the sleeping face of Craig and felt his heart swell with the inexplicable volume of love it was trying to contain. That beautiful face, half turned into the pillow and relaxed in perfect sleep, looked so much like an angel that John Paul was torn between the desire to kiss him or simply watch him forever. Craig's long dark lashes fanned out over the soft curve of his cheeks and his lips turned up in a smile for a dream that only he knew. John Paul watched him sleeping for some time, remembering the months he had mourned the loss of the man he loved, the long lonely hours when he had wished things were different, that he had been braver when he still had the chance, John Paul remembered how it felt to be without Craig in his life and vowed never to go back to that dark place again.

The bathroom door creaked slightly as it opened but John Paul was so lost in his thoughts that he never noticed. Linda had long since given up trying to get John Paul to lock the door when he was in the bathroom, it was something he seemed pathologically incapable of doing and, after walking in on him several times (a not totally unpleasant experience), she had taken to listening at the door for a second before entering. Craig, on the other hand, had no such reservations about joining his boyfriend and John Paul smiled as heard the shower door open and strong arms wrap around his chest.

"You should have woken me," Craig breathed into his ear.

John Paul turned his head to claim a kiss before replying. "You looked so peaceful, I couldn't bring myself to disturb you."

"I wouldn't have minded," Craig told him as he nuzzled the warm damp skin of John Paul's neck.

John Paul closed his eyes as he enjoyed the sensations of the warm water cascading over his skin and Craig's hot mouth nibbling on his flesh.

Reaching for the shower gel Craig spread the rich lather over John Paul's chest, running his hands in soft silky circles as the steam and the sweet fragrance filled the cubicle. John Paul sighed softly as Craig's hands moved over him, feeling a growing firmness pressing against him as Craig spread the foam further over his body.

"I'm sure we had plans for this morning," Craig whispered into John Paul's ear, biting gently on his lobe and circling his hips slowly to brush his hardening cock over John Paul's buttocks.

"You'll have to remind me," John Paul replied as he leant his hands against the cool tiles to steady himself as Craig's hands moved lower making John Paul gasp as the rich soapiness was spread between his thighs.

"I can't believe you've forgotten already," Craig teased as he slid his hard cock between John Paul's buttocks, breathing heavily as he eased it up and down between the moist mounds of flesh.

"I have a very bad memory," John Paul panted as Craig's soapy hands caressed his balls, squeezing them gently and making his cock jump to attention.

"Maybe this will help," Craig said sliding one hand over the length of John Paul's firm cock while continuing to massage his balls with the other.

"I think it might be coming back to me now," John Paul gasped as the slickness of Craig's grip moved over his cock, making his legs tremble and his heart beat heavily against his ribcage.

There were times when John Paul wanted to make love to Craig, slowly and gently, savouring every inch of the man's body as they expressed their love in an act of physical perfection.

Then again there were other times when John Paul's body begged for a good hard shag. When he wanted nothing more than a wild animalistic release of his desires. When he wanted to share such lustful abandon with the man he adored. And as Craig's cock stroked hard and slow past his tight opening, and Craig's hand ran up and down the length of his aching cock, John Paul had no doubt which of the two options his body craved at that moment.

Scooping some of the lather from his chest John Paul reached behind him to massage it into Craig's balls making the man whimper with pleasure and pull back slightly so that John Paul's fingers could curl around his hard throbbing cock.

"God that feels good," Craig panted as John Paul's soapy fingers ran over the head of his cock, soap and precum mingling together in an oily slick.

Pushing himself backwards John Paul directed the tip of Craig's cock against his tight puckered hole, circling it slowly as his chest heaved with the heavy breaths of anticipation.

"Tell me what you want," Craig urged as he leant forward, his cock pressing firmly against John Paul's opening but not quite hard enough to ease its way inside.

"Oh god Craig you know what I want…" John Paul gasped, pushing back against the firmness that refused to enter him.

"Yeah but I want you to tell me… I wanna hear you say it… I wanna know how much you want me…"

"I want you Craig… Christ I want you… I want you to fuck me… hard… I want to feel your dick slamming deep into me… I want…"

John Paul's words were lost in a loud cry as Craig drove his cock forward, plunging deep into John Paul's hot tight flesh and sending a rush of pain and pleasure coursing through his body.

Craig held onto John Paul's cock tighter as he pushed hard and fast into the delicious tightness of John Paul's silky passage. Sinking his teeth into the soft skin of John Paul's neck Craig closed his eyes and let the pure basic desires flood through him, driving his hips harder as he fucked the beautiful body before him.

John Paul's hands clawed at the smooth tiles as Craig's thick cock plunged deep into him, filling him completely in one swift hard motion that made his toes curl and his body tremble. Craig's teeth biting into his neck sent shivers of pleasure running through John Paul's body and Craig's hand gripping tightly at his cock made John Paul moan with the combined sensations that assaulted his body.

"Oh shit Craig that feels amazing," John Paul gasped, every inch of his body felt alive with desire and his cock was already aching with its urgent need for release. "Fuck me harder…"

Craig was panting heavily as he thrust himself deeper and harder into John Paul, their moans echoing around the tiled room mingling with the hard slapping of damp flesh coming together.

John Paul couldn't hold back, more than that he didn't want to, as Craig's cock pushed deeply into him, tantalising that perfect spot until his body felt on fire with hot desperate lust.

"God Craig yes… oh yes…"

Craig could feel the heavy throbbing of John Paul's cock in his hand and he wrapped his free arm around the man's middle as he plunged forward as hard and fast as he was able.

Words tumbled from John Paul's mouth in a rush of incoherent sounds and cries as his body convulsed, his cock throbbed as he came, so hard that he felt it was only Craig's grip around him that stopped his legs from giving way.

John Paul's chest heaved as his climaxed washed over him in wave after wave of unsurpassed pleasure until every single drop of desire was spent.

Craig pressed his face into the crook of John Paul's neck as the man's body shuddered against him. Hearing John Paul cry out in such a way was always a total turn on and Craig submitted to the increasing need that pulsated in his heavy balls and down the length of his cock.

Panting John Paul's name over and over again Craig thrust his hips, sending electrical shockwaves coursing through his body and making his cock throb inside the tightness of John Paul's hot flesh. Throwing his head back Craig let out a cry as his orgasm poured from him, his heat cascading deeply inside John Paul as he held the man close to him until he had nothing left to give and the two men slumped together against the wall of the shower as the hot water continued to tumble over them.

"OK you've convinced me," John Paul said quietly as he fought to regain his breath, "In the future I'll wake you up!"

"You'd better," Craig told him as he reluctantly pulled away from John Paul's body so that the man could turn to face him.

They were both flushed pink with the heat of the shower and their recent exercise as they looked deeply into the beauty of each other's eyes.

"God I love you," Craig said as he cupped John Paul's face in his hands and kissed the man gently and firmly.

"You'd better," John Paul replied as the kiss ended, "Cause I love you… more than… more than anything…"

It never ceased to amaze John Paul how great his capacity for loving another human being could be and how he knew that he would happily lay down his life for that gorgeous brown-eyed man without hesitation.

Craig looked into the deep all consuming blue of John Paul's eyes and felt the urge to weep. How had he been able to deny that love for so long, to hide it, to pretend it didn't break his heart not to have John Paul there? How had he once let that man walk away from his life when he could have held on to him so easily? Of all the things Craig regretted in his life losing John Paul had been the strongest and he vowed every day that he would never make that mistake again.

The men's eyes were torn from each other by a knock on the door.

"When you two have finished shagging in there can you let me know the bathroom's free?" Linda called through the painted wood.

John Paul couldn't hold back a laugh. "Sorry Lin," he called back, "We won't be long…"

"Oh don't rush on my behalf," came the reply, "Just let me know when you're done."

The two men laughed as they hugged each other close.

"You know if I wasn't in love with you I would SO try chatting her up!" Craig remarked with a giggle.

"Hell if I wasn't gay so would I!" John Paul replied as he turned off the shower and smiled at the promise of another wonderful day.

---

"Why is it that we seem to spend so much time standing here saying goodbye?" John Paul asked sadly as he looked around the all too familiar scenes of Liverpool's John Lennon Airport. As much as they had both wanted to prolong Craig's visit home eventually the necessity getting back to Trinity outweighed their desire to eek out a few more days together.

"Just remember," Craig replied with a smile that echoed the sadness in John Paul's eyes, "For every goodbye we say it means we have another hello to look forward to."

John Paul laughed gently. "When did you get to be such a romantic?"

"Oh I dunno, sometime around the moment I fell in love with this gorgeous guy…"

"Anyone I know?"

"Oh if you'd met him you'd remember," Craig said stepping close to John Paul and taking a moment to bask in the warming light that shone from his eyes, "He's not the sort of person you could ever forget… I should know, I tried once… don't ever plan on making that mistake again."

"Glad to hear it," John Paul replied as he watched the love dancing in the brightness of Craig's gaze, "Cause he couldn't bear to be without you ever again…"

In the centre of the busy airport the two men stood alone. They were aware of nothing but each other, the noise, the sights, the smells, the hustle and bustle of a normal airport afternoon faded into the background as they clung on to the final moments of being together.

"Craig…" John Paul's voice was hushed and for a moment the words "don't go" rested on the tip of his tongue. It would be so easy to ask. It was the one thing that John Paul wanted more than anything else in his life at that moment in time. The thought of Craig being so far away again almost broke his heart, but he knew, in the part of him that loved Craig the deepest, he knew that for now Craig had to go away and he knew that he couldn't try and stop that no matter how much he wanted to.

"What is it?" Craig asked as part of him prayed for John Paul to ask him to stay. It would only take a few words and he would abandon Trinity without a backwards glance. If John Paul asked he would do it, whatever John Paul asked. But at the same time he knew that was something John Paul would never ask of him and even if he offered John Paul would still insist he went.

Looking closely at each other their eyes said the words that their voiced couldn't find. They spoke of love and loss, the pain of parting and the joy of reuniting but most they spoke of love, a love that would survive whatever distance that came between them.

"I'll miss you," John Paul said finally.

"I'll miss you too… every day…"

"I'm not gonna see you again before finals am I?"

"I don't think so… there isn't really time… but next time I come home I plan on staying… you won't get rid of me again!"

"Damn! And I was hoping to finally shake you off!" John Paul joked, a comment that earned him a playful punch.

"Carry on like that and I won't come home at all," Craig threatened with a laugh.

"Don't even joke about it," John Paul said as he caught hold of Craig's hands, interlacing his fingers in between the warmth of his boyfriend's. "The next time you set foot in England I'm never gonna let you out of my sight again!"

"Never?"

"Not ever!"

"I could live with that…"

John Paul's hands brushed over the softness of Craig's cheeks, he could already feel the dull ache of missing Craig beginning deep in his chest, an ache that he knew would be there until the day Craig came home.

"I wish…" John Paul began before hesitating. There were so many things he wished and they all involved getting Craig to stay.

"Me too," Craig replied knowing exactly how John Paul was feeling, the same lonely ache was already clawing at his own chest and only the closeness of John Paul could keep it away.

"I think it's time," John Paul said regretfully as the boarding call for Craig's flight echoed around the airport.

"It's too soon…"

"It's always gonna be too soon…"

Their eyes glistened with unshed tears as they moved into a final embrace, burning the memory of each other into their hearts while they still had a chance.

"I love you," Craig whispered before gently pressing his mouth to John Paul's soft trembling lips.

They kissed gently, their lips lingering together as they savoured each other's taste.

"Bloody poofs!"

John Paul tensed at the voice that passed behind them, a gruff judgemental voice that faded away muttering under its breath as Craig pulled back slowly from the kiss. John Paul held his breath in anticipation of Craig's reaction but the look in the man's rich brown eyes never faltered.

"I love you," Craig repeated as he brushed a soft kiss to John Paul's cheek, "And I don't care what anyone else in the world thinks… especially not morons like that… I pity anyone who's never found what we've got I really do… you've changed my life John Paul McQueen, and I don't think I will ever be able to thank you enough…"

---

John Paul stood in the airport long after Craig had gone, probably long after the flight to Dublin had taken off as he held on to Craig's final touch, Craig's final kiss and, as he finally turned to leave, John Paul started the countdown to the day that would bring Craig Dean back home again.

---

"He's gone then?" Linda said as John Paul walked slowly into the flat.

"Yeah."

"You OK?"

"Not really…"

"Come 'ere." Linda held open her arms and John Paul collapsed onto the sofa beside her, gratefully accepting her embrace.

"It'll be OK John Paul," Linda promised as she hugged her friend close and kissed the top of his head, "He'll be back before you know it…"

"No he won't," John Paul pouted, "He's gonna be gone ages…"

"Don't argue with me when I'm being sympathetic," Linda objected jokingly, "Besides you're gonna be too busy studying hard to notice the time aren't you!"

"I'll always notice when Craig's not around," John Paul insisted stubbornly.

"On the bright side," Linda said with a mischievous giggle as she rested her chin on John Paul's head, "At least you have some new photos to keep you warm at night!"

John Paul jumped back from Linda's hold with wide-eyed amazement. "Lin… how do you know about those?"

Laughing hard Linda winked cheekily, "You'd be surprised what I know Mr McQueen…"

"Lin… tell me how you know…"

"I didn't," Linda confessed laughing even harder, "I just noticed your camera out on the side the other day… so you really DID get some artistic shots of Craig then… you gonna let me see?"

"Certainly not…"

"Oh go on…"

"No!"

"Just a peek…"

"Linda behave…"

"How about a look at the pictures of you then?"

"I'm warning you!"

"Spoil sport!"

John Paul was laughing so hard that tears began to roll down his cheeks and he realised that no matter how much he would miss Craig until they could be together again, at least he had Linda's friendship to keep his heart and mind out of the doldrums.

Linda dragged John Paul back into her arms and the two of them settled back to watch TV in the companionable silence that only ever really existed between true friends.


End file.
